Planning, Praying, Playing

Whitney : (

2012-02-12T13:16:00.000Z

Wow - what news.

I'm sure everyone has heard by now that Whitney Houston has died. I am sure the tech savvy have updated their facebook statuses and tweeted about how the news has made them feel.

For me, the 140 character limit (or whatever it is) on Twitter just wouldn't suffice. I updated my facebook status, but I actually feel compelled to share more on how the news makes me feel.

My first reaction was 'Oh God, be with the family'. To us, Whitney was an icon, a legend. But to her family, she was a Mother, a God-daughter, a friend. I have lost people close to me and I cannot imagine how much more intense it must to be to grieve in public. To crave for quiet time, when the world is in a frenzy and wants to talk, and write and speculate, when all you need is peace in your heart. I just guess it must be really hard. That was my first thought. The same as when Princess Diana died - I thought of her sons - who were the same age as me and had lost their Mum. The same as when MJ died, I thought of his kids (biological or not, MJ was their 'Daddy').

My second reaction was 'she was so young!' 48! I grew up listening to her, I own her albums. I have her greatest hits and I know all the words. I was sad about MJ because he made a BIG mark on music, and I loved his music, and I also owned his 'Number One's' album...but I can't say I knew all the words. With Whitney it's was different. If I could only listen to one artist for the rest of my life - it would be Whitney. The fact that the Greatest Hits album is divided into 'throw down' and 'cool down' explains why. She had a song for every emotion. She had the words and the voice.

My third reaction was 'the memories'. I grew up listening to Whitney, just like I grew up listening to MJ and the Beatles (thanks Dad), Mariah, Beyonce, Usher (and Shaggy - but that's a different story!). These are the people that I have heard about since I can remember. These are the people whose lyrics I always return to. I have two very special and old friends (I call them the originals), who I hold near and dear. At school, practically all day, every day, we would sing. In class, at lunch, on the field, at people's house parties. We used to arrange to sneak out of lessons to listen to our walkman and sing. Yes, I said 'walkman' - the ones with a cassette that you had to turn over to get to the B side! We sang Whitney, we sang Mariah and these artists were always in our playlists! Whenever I do karaoke, I know what my song is: I wanna dance with somebody. I love that bit at the end where she says 'heeeeeeeeaT'. I LOVE it. I just feel saddened that Whitney had such an amazing career and was SO inspirational to SO many people the world over. I'd hate for her to be remembered for the wrong things.

Life is life and these things happen, sure - but when God blesses us with such a talent and gives us a bank load of phrases to draw on throughout our lives - there just has to be a moment of pause.

'I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all you dreamed of, and I wish to you - joy and happiness, but above all this I wish you love'

That is just such a deep line people.

'It's your fault you didn't love him enough; that's the problem, I loved him too much'

Again - if you've been there and you get it - these words cut deep

'Could I have this kiss forever?' - that really gets me! So many times I have wished the kiss would last forever....seriously!

'If you say my eye are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you!' - this just gets me because I believe that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

'It's not right, but it's OK'

'Each day I live, I want to be, a day to give, the best of me. I'm only one but not alone, my finest day is yet unknown'

'There can be miracles, when you believe'

We can only hope and pray eh?

Anyway, I am sure there are tonnes of tribute posts to Whitney rolling out today, so I wont continue on here. Just to say, my heart goes out to her family and to the families of other people who have lost a loved one at this time and who will inevitably be surrounded by images of grief/tribute even if it's not of their loved one. I pray that God gives all those that need it a shoulder. Well, the shoulder is always there, but I hope that he opens up their hearts so they can use it!

I am so grateful for the memories that I have and I the mark that Whitney's voice has left on my soul. Sounds cheesy, but it's true. I really regret that there will be no more from Whitney.

RIP.

Can black people really be well spoken?

2012-02-11T14:21:00.003Z

How many of us have been on the receiving end of such comments?

I know I have. Man, if I had just £1 for every time someone gave me the look of 'goodness, I wasn't expecting that'...

Now, I'm not saying I've never judged a book by its cover, but when it happens to you a lot, it becomes tedious. Most recently, I jumped in a taxi and said 'thanks for waiting for me' [I run on 'BMT']...the driver turned around shocked and said

'I'm not being funny but it's not often you meet a black girl who is so polite - most of the time I just get rudeness!'

Yikes! I wanted to stick up for my 'sistas' BUT, I can't deny there are a lot of 'feisty' black girls out there. But if you look closely, feisty girls really do come in all shapes, colours and sizes! I prefer to think of it as being passionate, a fire perhaps, I guess you could call it 'sass'...

Now, on this occasion, I just smiled and said 'thank you', after all I didn't want to prove him right by saying by playing the 'but are you being racist?' card! He was merely making an observation and it's a shame that he had to be surprised by me being plain courteous. I wasn't even over-apologetic of anything.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such comments?

Thank you cousin Dre for sharing this with me - yonks ago and inspiring my post!

Guard your smile with vigorous laughter!

2012-02-09T00:44:00.000Z

Love this - courtesy of Pierre at Oyin Handmade!

Children put the fun into snowdays!

2012-02-06T18:05:00.002Z

Little Miss O and I attempt a jump-shot , ANTM style!

Mr O luring Little Miss O in for a nasty surprise! 'Hey, come and look at these'

Gotcha!

I'm not playing anymore!

Meanwhile - look what I did - my BIGGEST snowman ever!!

And then along comes Mr O!

Addiction: For the love of Palmer's cocoa butter!

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000Z

I am an addict - there I said it. And this is my poison... cocoa!

More than chocolate, I absolutely love cocoa butter, I won't even lie. I should tell you actually, I was waaaay ahead of Vaseline and could often found in the P.E. changing rooms at school, mixing lumps of cocoa butter into my little vaseline pot. Purleese! Y I've been slapping that stuff onto my lips for yonks - and Mr O can testify that the results speak for themselves.

Now, I did try mixing up a cocoa butter moisturiser once. That was an interesting experience. I bought a couple of blocks of pure, raw cocoa butter straight from Kaneshie market in Accra, Ghana....but it just took so long to melt that I gave up and just used it in its natural state. When I applied it straight to my skin, I found that it was greasy, a bit impractical to carry round and I wasn't really feeling that 'shiny' look. If you've had a better experience with cocoa butter, let me know how you used it please!

I had never set eyes on cocoa before, despite 10 years of using it on my skin and about 20 years of eating it!

I was eager to bring one back home to the UK to show Little Miss O where her special ezcema cream came from. (That's right, only cocoa butter gave her relief from the itch!)...one of the many ironies of 'medicine'!

Since the big chop in 2009, I've generally tried to keep my use of store bought products to a minimum. I've just become more aware of my hair and skin and what I put on it. I still use some store bought products (it can be hard not to sometimes) but I try to choose paraben-free products or just to mix up my own.

When I don't mix my own, I'm very very choosy. In fact, I'm the girl that takes an hour in the shop reading all the labels before deciding that none of the products is good enough to touch my skin...or Little Miss O's skin for that matter and you know what, there is only one brand of cocoa butter that I let touch my skin...it's paraben free and I just have to tell you all about it, just in case you've been living under a rock for a while and are still using what I affectionately term an 'imposter' (or 'bootleg') version?!!!?

But despite this experience, I still love and use cocoa butter - at least 4 times a day I should add! Like I said, I'm addicted. I always have been. Now I've discovered that my fave brand has lots of new products in their range...

I feel a 'Cocoa butter bust cream' review post brewing... or perhaps Mr O can write a guest post reviewing their 'man friendly' products...

Oh the possibilities...

Hair Inspiration: For Mothers and Daughters

2012-02-01T22:57:00.001Z

I'm not sure where I stumbled across this photo but I loved it enough to save it... It makes me think of Little Miss O and I in 2 years perhaps... Now that would be some impressive hair growth on my part... better get working on it!

'If you don't shower, mushrooms will grow on your body!' and other stories...

2012-01-31T17:29:00.001Z

Ok ok- that's not entirely true (at all), but that's what Little Miss O thinks. You see, sometimes I make up stories to explain why she should or shouldn't do certain things...and since the girl doesn't like mushrooms, this little tale of mine has proven quite enough to put a stop to the 'but I don't wanna have a shower now Mummy' tantrums that I hear all kids pull at some point or other!

On the topic of stories, I have a confession...and this is probably an awful thing to admit from someone who loves to write, BUT I was never much into reading as a child. The thought of sitting down, quietly with a 'novel' pretty much filled me with dread - bleugh! I just didn't 'get' the meaning behind the stories - the stories that seemed to take forever to get to the point, the stories that seemed to bear no resemblance to my own life, thoughts or ambitions. In fact, the only book that I really engaged me as a child was 'Are You There God, It's Me Margaret' by Judy Blume'! I was also enjoyed 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', but that was because of the chocolate (!)... and if anyone asks, Roald Dahl himself is to blame for my undeniable chocoholic-ism!

Are You There God? It's Me Margaret.

It is fair to say that pre-1995, I just wasn't interested in the written word. That is until I accompanied a friend and her parents to watch an open air performance of a Shakespeare play. Now, I can't remember whether it was Othello or The Taming of the Shrew, but I can remember that there was a character called 'Bianca' in it! I was only 10 years old, and it only cost £3.50 (which seemed like a lot of money then), but I was fascinated. It was my first play, my first open-air play, and my first experience of 'live' art. I relished just being in the atmosphere and although I didn't understand the language of the performance, I finally 'got it'...I 'got' literature...the words came alive and I understood.

From there, most of literary experiences formed part of my studies, but on the sly, I fell in love with Shakespeare. Over the years, I've also found a few authors of fiction that I can really enjoy - Paulo Coelho and Alice Seabold are up there and of course there are my favourite poets Alice Walker and Maya Angelou. I love reading about love, life and what I call 'real stuff'. I have dozens of little books of quotes that I enjoy dipping in and out of. Actually, that's probably why I enjoy reading other people's blogs so much. I like things that I can relate to, things that I can 'get'...

But what about Little Miss O...well, despite only being 3 feet tall, she is quite the opposite of me in terms of her early years love of books! She absolutely adores being read to and would read 100 books in a row if I let her. She needs no encouragement whatsoever, in fact more often than not, it's me who is begging to go to bed! Baby girl knows the words from many of her favourite stories off by heart and corrects me if I mis-read something. I usually do different voices for the different characters and if I mix up the voices, she's the first to snigger and tell me:

'no, that's not his voice Mummy!'

[sometimes I deliberately mix up the voices, just to hear her cute post-toddler giggle]

Through Little Miss O, I have found a new love for reading and actually, I'm not so bad at making up alternative endings myself. I also love it when she holds up one finger and asks me for:

'just one more story Mummy, a really magical one, just from you - you don't even need to read it from a book!!'

No pressure then! I'm J.K Rowling you know! Still, I always try and baby girl seems to think I can 'make' magic which is kind of sweet really...

Anyway, today on the radio 4, I learnt that it is World Book Day on 1st March and I'm really excited (I still surprise myself by choosing this station sometimes!). I'm even thinking about entering the Storytelling Superstars Competition... you just have to upload a video of yourself (or whoever) reading a kid's story... simple, right?

Now, all I have to do is decide which story to read and how I'll make it 'magical'. I am sure Little Miss O will be full of ideas..!

What is/was your favourite book?

Lonely Boy

2012-01-29T23:16:00.000Z

I'm not in the habit of posting videos on my blog, but this is one that I just had to share. I can't remember how I stumbled across this clip, but I did and I'm so very glad!

This dance routine has brought Little Miss O and I many hours of fun. She doesn't understand the lyrics, but she gets the dance moves. She's currently trying to persuade me to 'make me on TV like the funny dancing man'.... I took this to mean 'let's make our own version Mummy!'.... and I have to say, for this, I would be tempted! Until then, I look forward to performing this routine in the a club near you with my cousins and sister! Ladies, it's on!

Hope you find it as entertaining as I do!!!

Helloooo silver lining!

2012-01-27T20:51:00.000Z

The last time I blogged (bar yesterday), seems like sooooo far away! Here are few things that I'm walking into 2012 (Happy New Year btw - can I still say that?) with:

- a new home - yipee!

- In relation to moving, I have now completed my first month of pure, fun SAHM-ness and I've absolutely LOVED it. The novelty is yet to wear off and I am LOVING baking, painting, home-making, chilling, painting my nails and reading magazines with my gorgeous little girl. It's as though I am falling in love with her all over again (not that I ever fell out of love with her!), but having time for and with her has just been amazing.

- As much as I love this SAHM phase, I know at some point, I will want to go back to work, at least part-time, but this time career/PhD-ing will not take over my life. It's all about balance, right?

- Similarly, I have also now done a whole month of house-wifey-ness. I'm actually quite good at it. Big respect to my girlfriends who are making the choice to SAH. If and when I do return to full-time work, I plan to do it differently...and if I can't do it the 'O' way, then I'm just not going to do it at all - simples.

- I've realised that when things work out in a way that you might not have hoped or prayed for, sometimes its part of a bigger plan and sooner or later, the silver lining reveals itself. Hello silver lining - nice to meet you!

- I love sharing my life with my extended family... it all seems to revolve around rites of passage - birthdays, births, marriages etc ... it's all quite traditional and I love it! I managed to get all my brothers and sisters in one room at the same time for no reason - the first time since our wedding - and I loved just being in their company... In particular, my little sis and I have had some really fun times lately and I'm looking forward to having more of that time with her.

- I've finally found a range of hair products that my curly locs are thriving on. Let's hear it for 'Davines - Natural Tech, whose shampoo, nourishing pak and conditioner are fab and the perfect compliment to my homemade shea and coconut concoctions that I use for styling my hair.

- I've accepted on a whole new level the fact that I always have a choice - even when I think I don't. When I do nothing, I'm making a choice to do 'nothing'. Sure, it's not the most profound realisation, but it led to me choosing to leave a situation that was just not good for my soul. Period. I allowed the situation to sap some of my energy, some of my zen and that is one area that I have actively chosen to change, and let me tell you, it feels A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! My energy is going in one direction now and I like it.

- A few years ago, I discovered Bobbi Brown's long wear eye-shadow and raved about it, here. Now I've tried MACs version. I am now a MAC-Bobbi and back to MAC convert! The MAC stuff remained perfect, uncreased and flawless from 10.30am till 4am the next morning! And let me tell you, I put the stuff through its paces! That is a £££-saving find, so had to share it! That said, Bobbi will still be my first stop for nude lipsticks - bare pink and twilight all the way!

So, all in all, I'm flying into 2012 feeling: full of love, light and ummm curves (I definitely over-indulged last year!).... so will be starting up my fitness regime again soon...

That's all for now!
x

E.C.L.E.C.T.I.C. not electric!

2012-01-26T22:37:00.000Z

I haven't blogged for ages.... so much has changed since I last blogged and recently, I have had a number of times when I thought 'oooh, I could write about what just happened' or 'ooooh, I bet other like-minded people would like to know about x, y or z...'... That is just not really good enough for me at the moment, I feel like I want to share, and at the moment, I have time to do so. So for today at least, I've decided to start publishing some of my blog posts again...heck I may even start you-tubing lol

If you're still with me - thank you for sticking around!

If you're new to my blog - hello and welcome!

Be warned, there has never really been a clear direction to my blog. Some people classify themselves as a 'mommy blogger', 'homemaker blogger', 'christian blogger', 'natural hair blogger', 'music blogger', 'style blogger' etc etc, but I am none and all of those. To be honest, I kind of like the variety in my blog - it reflects who I am - it's eclectic (am I the only one thinking of Sister Act?!). I like that I don't heavily edit or plan my posts - I like that this is my little space to write whatever I want, whenever I want. Freedom of speech is amazing isn't it and I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the world where I get to use it! Sure, this means I may never have 1000s of followers, but hopefully if you've stumbled across this blog today, you see something that makes you laugh, perhaps even cry (!), something that inspires you, or perhaps that makes you realise that you're lucky to be in the shoes that you're in, maybe you'll realise that there are other people out there doing the same thing as you - day in day out... these are things that I have got out of other people's blogs, so why not try to do the same.

From a personal point of view, by posting on here again, I get to practice my writing skills... yey! What better way to discover what I most like to write about than to actually do it. I suppose I will also get an idea about what I am best at writing..so comment and rate away : )

So, for now, variety is both the spice of my life and my blog and I'm embracing that online, as well as offline. Hooray! I'll probably be blogging about all the same things as before...maybe more direction, maybe even more diverse than before- I'll just see where the cyber-wind blows me... and I'm looking forward to it.

If you show me how, then I can do it too!

2011-11-27T21:25:00.000Z

When did Little Miss O get so smart?!

Seriously, we were playing with her toys and then she caught a glimpse of our Scrabble board game (this was my fave game growing up and it was mine and my Dad's 'thing').

Me: That one's for grown ups darling.
Little Miss O: But if you show me how, then I can do it too!
Me: [puzzled! How could she play scrabble if she can't read?!...or am I restricting her growth here...shouldn't I be nurturing her interests, why was I setting a barrier?!]
Me: Ok then, first of all you put all the letters in the bag, shake them and then take 7 tiles and put them on your rack.

In saying this to her I realised, I have already taught her the words 'tile' and 'rack'. I've never heard her say these before. She then mistakenly counted out 8 tiles.

Me: Ok sweetie, count them again, that's 8 tiles you have there. If you put one tile back in the bag then you'll have 7 which is the right number"
[Ummm is this her first lesson in subtraction; I hated maths at school, but she was loving 'playing scrabble' this way!]

We then turned all the tiles up the right way - you know with the point number in the bottom corner.
[Ummm, is this not an easy way to get her to recognise letters the correct way up?!]

Then we started looking for the letters of her name (which she knows) and spelling all of her names out on the scrabble board.

Little Miss O was actually loving it! She felt like she was 'playing' the game as she was putting pieces on the board. I asked her what some of the letters were...and not only did she know them but she told me some names that begin with that letter!

"that's 'T' that sounds like 'Tuh' for Thomas...that's 'curly 'C' that sound like 'Cuh' for Catherine..!"

Ummmm... seriously! When did my child get so smart?! She's 3 and a half and every day I ask what she did at nursery and she tells me 'I played'. She gives me this look as if to say 'what do you think I was doing Mummy, working?!'.. I know she like a sponge at the moment and she's taking it all in. It's just that, at the moment, it seems so very blatant lately that she is learning something in everything she does

...how dare I refuse to nurture her interest in words and reading (well 'playing' to her) by saying 'scrabble is for grown ups'! eish! I'm the first to encourage her to do things that I think she is physically capable of - it was my idea to take her ice-skating (at age tiny!), help her collect 'nature' from a lake, but when it comes to mental capabilities, I think I underestimate just how far she can go. My bad?!

Once again, Little Miss O has taught me something! There is an opportunity for her to learn in everything she does and without her even realising. Score! I suppose this is my job. I actually can't wait for the rest of the things she'll end up teaching me in the future!

If you have little one's how far do you let them do 'grown up' things?

Mrs O
x

Things I didn't expect a Pastor to say...

2011-10-23T21:39:00.000+01:00

Today at church we were really blessed to hear a guest Pastor, Bill Wilson speak about his life, his testimony and his ministries... it really was harrowing but he told it with humour and I hope to get the chance to meet him again. I left inspired to act and do something(!) - the perfect outcome from going to church in my books. Here are some of the highlights:

"On your seats you should have a calendar, it's not for you to know the date - you have your cell-phone for that, it's so you know what you can do to support the ministries and when! Ladies, put it in your purse. Fellas, if you got a purse with you today, I don't even know what to say!" ahahaah! No further comment necessary!

"You young ones think you know everything, what because you got an ''iPhone...?!'" - just hilarious!

"...and the guy stood up to me, and I thought 'you made a big mistake there Mr, 'cos I'm gonna bust you up - in the NAME of Jesus!'...it wasn't a very 'Christian' thought, so I had to bring Jesus into it!!!" In the context of his testimony, I'm pretty sure I would react the same way. If ever I have similar thoughts (and I'm talking only twice in my life so far), I'm left feeling like a 'bad' Christian... but actually, I loved that he made this comment because it shows that just because you call yourself a 'Christian' it doesn't stop you from experiencing human emotions and you're still as 'real' as you were before you got saved or became a believer.. loved it!

"I've been through a lot, no-one survives THREE plane crashes, I've had a bullet in my head, I live in the ghetto in New York city, I've witnessed several homicides and was just a metre away - don't question why I'm tough! Quite possibly I loved this even more, and it totally explains why some people don't bother sugar-coating the truth - sometimes it just is.

"Your brain is not even capable of thinking until you're at least 26, 28; so if you're 14 and you think you're in love, you're a moron!" Did he just call our young people morons! LOL!

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be able to hurt me that way...grown folks, do you understand what I'm trying to say without saying what it is that I'm trying to say...?!" As wordy as it reads, I understood perfectly.

I loved how real he is. He gave me a good reminder of just how much we have:
- the opportunities (we all get educated till age 16 - regardless of our parents income, the security for our health
- if you're sick, within 7 minutes (give or take a few) an ambulance will be there to get you(!)
- dammit, we were free to leave our homes and go to a comfortable building and hear the word of God - so many people in our world have to pray in secret! Needless to say I'm feeling really blessed this evening... and loving it.

If you haven't come across Pastor Bill Wilson before - check him out today! I think he's pretty darn fab - now I'm off to add him on Facebook!

Mrs O
x

Things I like to share...

2011-09-22T19:04:00.001+01:00

I love stumbling across random blogs and finding a musing that inspires me for the day - sometimes longer. So I feel I owe it to cyberspace to give as well as take ('that's what she said' - any office fans out there?!)...

In thinking about whether or not I'd like to keep blogging, I've decided just to blog when I want to and publish when I feel it's something worth sharing, if I want to reach out, get random, dare I say, 'advice' from strangers who have followed this here blog, or sometimes just because I feel like it.

So, today, I feel like sharing something - it's not about weddings or babies, but it is about L.O.V.E...

This week I lunched with someone I l.o.v.e like a sister and this is how the conversation went:

She: What does it feel like to be in love?

Me: I'm not really sure what to say to you. I imagine it's different for everyone?!

She: My friend says its when you can't stop thinking about someone...

Me: No, that's just obsession lol...or maybe infatuation lol....thinking about someone all the time is probably a prerequisite for being 'in love' but experiencing those things doesn't always mean you're 'in love'...why are you asking...

She: [looking at me blank and desperate for an answer]

Me: I personally think being 'in love' is when you are so obsessed with someone that you want to share things with them and want them to share things with you, then you end up knowing them and sharing so much with them that you discover things about them that you don't like, yet you love them anyway, possibly even more than before you knew all the bad stuff...

[eloquent I know!]

...and so the conversation continued.

I still don't know if that was the 'right' thing to say to her... but then today, I was clearing out my inbox (after about 2 years!) and I came across an email about kid's opinions on love...I had to share.

These were my personal favourites:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.

Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image!)
Karen - age 7

Apparently, the winning response from these kids was a four year old child

whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Next time I'm asked, I hope I can come up with something as profound as these kids have done...

Still me, Still Mrs O

Do I need to blog?

2011-08-15T18:22:00.000+01:00

Why do I blog?

Why did I start blogging?

Do I need to continue blogging?

Who benefits?

What else could I be doing with my time?

There are so many things that I want to do, and although blogging doesn't take up much of my time, it is still time that I could be using for other things... I like the blogging world and when I feel I have something interesting to share - I do. But mostly, its just me ranting/keeping an online non-private diary.

Maybe I should just start keeping a diary again - at least I wouldn't need to sensor it. : )

Perhaps its time for me to stop blogging...now?!

My take on today's current affair: The riots aren't fair

2011-08-09T18:15:00.000+01:00

London's burning
What are you doing?
Birmingham riots
What are you doing?
Everyone's fighting
Why??
Why are you doing what you're doing?
Justice?
Free stuff?
Just doing what your mates do?
Just doing what the bbm said?

Tottenham.

Why?
Why not, I suppose?
What have you to lose?
Sure, it's your local area, but does it feel like your community?
What did your local teachers ever do for you?
What did your local police ever do for you?
Do you feel like you belong?
Do you feel like anyone gives a damn?
If not,
Why not?

Clapham.

So what, you think you have
No options?
Bored?
Frustrated?
Nothing to lose?

Enfield.

So, loot why don't you?
Fight?
Mug?
Thieve?
Why not?

Hackney.

Morals?
Please.
Nobody ever showed you what that means,
So how should you know, right?
Why should you care, right?
If no-one cares for you,
Why should you care them.
Plus, you don't even know 'them',
Do you?
They're just buildings, right?

Birmingham.

Copycats.

I'm not excusing looting,
I don't condone your fighting,
Your mugging does not impress me,
And the Bible clearly told you not to thieve.

It's not right.
It's not OK.
And you know this.

It has to stop,
Lest the whole country burns to ashes.
Then who wins?
Not you!?
Not me!?

Now, Leeds.

Come on.

You will tire eventually,
So will everyone else.

Liverpool.

It's getting silly now.

People will get hurt,
And when they do, please don't mug them,
That's just deep beyond comprehension.

This mess is gonna cost money to fix.

Just stop it.
Nothing lasts forever.

But, can't you just stop it now.
I've heard you.
I've seen you.
I almost get it.
Almost.

But now, just stop.

So what if the clean up costs money.
It's not your money,
You don't pay tax,
No-one would give you a job, right?!

It would have cost money to invest in building your community
It would also cost money to invest in supporting you and your family
It would also cost money to invest in building your morals, aspirations and hope
Dammit, they didn't spend enough to help build your future, right?

Why don't I ask them, 'why? why not?'

I already know why.
That would only have reduced inequality,
Our 'society' doesn't like equality,
Not one bit.
It's fine for people with money, education and power to 'seize' opportunities,
God forbid you do it though,
That just renders you a thug, right?

Politicians know that this is not about poor angry people messing up their own lives.
They know its not about getting free stuff.
They know its not about thuggery,
They know its not about poverty,
Its not even about justice - at least it isn't anymore.

Its about inequality.
Its about things not being fair.

The policies aren't fair.
But you know that already don't you.

But here's a brainwave,
The riots aren't fair.

Our supposed society is not 'fair'...because what we want for society is not what we want for ourselves.
We're all selfish, some more than others.
We're all watching our own backs.

And so we continue....

Trainers or Running Shoes - that is the question?!

2011-08-05T22:20:00.000+01:00

So, if I'm going to make the most of my gym membership, I need to be kitted out. Ok - fine, I don't need to be kitted out, BUT I will feel like I fit in with the rest of cute gym bunnies there and besides I need to reward myself for taking the big step towards membership!! : )p
I used to have some cute gym attire but for the life of me, I have no idea where it is now - and finding them, only to realise that they don't even fit anymore would just depress me into staying home!
So new gym gear it is!
I did look in my wardrobe for clothing that is suitable for the gym and my entire non-work wardrobe is (in every possible way) unsuitable for the gym or work out classes. I suppose I had it easy when I wore a vest top, leggings and heels to my burlesque class!

I usually hate shopping (I must be the only woman to say that!), but when it comes to shopping for gym stuff, I'm really looking forward to it...plus I can even do it online on my lunch-break - gotta love a bit of multi-tasking...

How cute does Amber Rose look in this...?!

I love the just-seen pink socks and nails!

So, here's my list so far...

- a couple of cute little flannels to mop sweat from my neck (ewww!), if I don't sweat, I feel like I am not really working out but just at the gym for the sake of saying that I go. Basically, I have to sweat it out whilst I work it out!
- gym top(s) that cover my U.G.L.Y sports bra - my shock absorber is great for reducing bounce BUT it really is about function and not fashion - thus I need something cute to cover it!
- gym bottoms - tight fitting so I don't get stuck in a machine and also sweat-wicking!!!
- a functional and more visually appealing sports bra...I'm going for bonus points girls...
- running shoes/trainers (what's the difference even?!)
- new ear phones so I can get in the zone and work it!
- a reusable water bottle - its not about buying bottled water guys - unless its 'One' water and then I can forgive you!
- gym bag : )p - because I am not a bag lady and refuse to carry my clothes in plastic carrier bags! : )P

I feel like my list is quite comprehensive, but am I missing anything?! Do I really need all these things to go to the gym...?

Until next time...

M
x

Body armour, CSI and gym shoes... : )

2011-08-04T22:05:00.001+01:00

Ok - so a close buddy of mine told me off for not updating this here blog with the news that I have graduated...

So there it is - I have graduated!!! : ) Woo hoo!

I had a lovely few weeks off work to celebrate my success and unwind... much needed, I tell you..and during that time, I made a decision..

The time to step up my fitness regime is now.

Currently, my exercise schedule revolves around pushing baby girl on the swing, swimming under water with my hand on my back, pretending to be a 'shark', running round parks, and trying to squeeze myself through all kinds of soft play equipment at jungle gyms. It also includes running up and down the stairs, hoovering almost daily and bending over to pick up toys and one burlesque class per week (very good fun, but not enough to boost my fitness levels!)..

In short - I need to step up my game - literally. The 'excuse' - I just had a baby, simply wont cut it after 3 years - well not to me. Every-time I go out in the evening in a figure hugging number, I rely on magic knickers! If you have never worn these, let me tell you they can get really hot! I have even been known to wear two pairs of said knickers at the same time - one for bum lift and one for tummy flattening (thanks to a certain bff for that tip!) tehehe....

Must I rely on such 'body armour'?!

Pre-baby, I'd party - a lot - dancing the calories away and tone up by going to the gym every couple of days. Darn it, I had a fitness plan. But now things have changed. I drive EVERYWHERE, I have a lovely husband who carries anything heavy that might otherwise help tone my arms. It's not all about appearance though, I am ashamed to say that I am really really unfit! It's not good - at all!

Now, I know that I am lucky that I didn't actually gain any weight during pregnancy - just on the chest! I just gained stretch marks, the characteristic mummy 'pouch', an extra back size and a couple of extra cup sizes!! But, all in all, whilst I am comfortable with my Mummy shape, I do feel like I could feel even better and it's all about being the best version of myself possible.

I'm not into hard work and no play anymore, so, I'm exploring gym options where I can work out, have fun at the same time, de-stress, and sweat it out in the sauna and steam room or just sit in the jacuzzi on the occasional day I feel lazy!

Gone are my old ~~excuses~~ reasons:

'I'm pregnant' - ummm had I not heard of Pregnancy yoga?!

'I just had a baby' - ummm why was Baby Yoga on my mind but not Mum and Baby yoga?

'I should spend the time with baby girl' - I can go when she is sleeping!

'I should spend the time on my PhD' - I've now got it!

'I should spend the time with Mr O' - In all honesty, he'd much rather have the couple of hours at home alone watching CSI (which I don't really like), drinking cider (which I don't drink!) and eating nuts without me saying 'did you just drop one, you know baby girl is allergic', before proceeding to hoover during the ad-break of CSI!

Really, its a win win situation...

So, if I am uber-efficient with my time, then the only excuse I have left is

'I don't even own gym shoes anymore...'

Until next time...

M
x

Dream big...

2011-07-17T22:59:00.004+01:00

My soundtrack for the week....

Why dream big?

Well, as a teenager, I used to fantasize - about my future life.... I used to think about what my home would be like, what my Husband would be like...what it would be like to be a Mum...what kind of job I would have and so on....

But now, when I think about the future, our future, I am thinking about such bigger things...I sometimes doubt myself and I can hear the little red guy on my shoulder saying

'hey, you're just you, why are you dreaming so big'

Thankfully, there's a little guy in white on the other shoulder saying

'why ever not! you are you and that is exactly why you should be dreaming big'

Sure, I still want the huge house where all my family can feast at Christmas, where Little Miss O could decide to get married if she wants to (can you tell I grew up watching Father of the Bride) ...but now I want more.

Despite feeling really content with my life at the moment (and I really am), I find myself feeling HUNGRY. HUNGRY, THIRSTY and constantly wanting to achieve more. Perhaps its because I'm a project-oriented person and so now that my PhD is done and collecting dust, I'm looking for a new challenge. Something to sink my teeth into and to run with...

The ideas have been brimming for a while now, but now the time has come...

Mr O and I are cooking up a little project - together. I'm so excited by it and so is he! We motivate each other and it's great to have the support that he offers me on a daily basis. He is actually my rock!

Every time I think about our plans and where they could take us, a cheesy grin just takes over my face. I am dreaming big again (!), and I feel that no obstacle in our lives can or should stand in the way. We have the big J.C on our side and are praying for our venture and for our family.

I think that every person is here to do something - whatever it is, we're all here for a reason. We are all blessed with different talents and its our duty, surely, to figure out what our passion and talents are and how we can use them for good. Even just by smiling at a stranger or telling someone that you like the way they are wearing their hair...we're showering blessings onto others, we're making someone else's day brighter and the effects are cumulative - trust me on this guys...

I am generally a smiley person (maybe annoyingly so) and I'm told that I have an 'infectious humour' about me. I decided to take this as a compliment! : )P But, other than people being happy to be around me (most of the time), I want to do more...

I want to serve more...

I want to achieve more...

I want to be more...

I want to be the best possible version of myself that I can be. Darn it, I want our family to be the best possible version of ourselves that we can be!

Am I asking too much? Am I egotistic? A narcissist even? Personally, I don't think so...

I suppose today, I am realising that actually Mr O and I are on a great path.

We're so so blessed and have a lot going for us - we're still so young and have the whole of our lives ahead of us...

So, here's to a new week - of dreaming BIG! For all of us to dream big...

Someone once challenged me with these questions:

What do you dream of achieving?
What do you love doing?
What are you good at?
and
What are you doing to make your dreams a reality?

If you're reading this, I challenge you to do the same....share your visions for yourself in the comments box and I'll add this to my prayer list... (go on, it can't hurt right?!)

Have a great week - dreaming big and fabulous things!

Mrs O
x

Henna - for next time....

2011-07-16T01:08:00.000+01:00

So, I started doing some 'research' into henna as a hair dye.

I came across a 3-part blog session on the natural haven. I really love this blog because it explains scientific concepts about hair in such a clear and concise way. I'm a 'scientist'/'researcher' by day and so I am used to having to evidence everything I do, say or even think... so when it comes to my hair, I find it useful to look at evidence. I generally try a product (homemade or store bought) 3 times. I figure that if you try it once, you could get good results down to chance, a second good result could just be a coincidence...but if the same thing works 3 times, then I trust it that little bit more... : ) I also try not to change or test more than one product at a time - if I applied 5 different things to my hair each day, how could I expect to see a positive change in the condition of my hair...and if I did, how could I know which one it was...

Because of this sort of hair confusion, I stick to one thing at a time...except when the closet artist in me comes out and then I ruin all my hard work and put some random concoction on my hair just because it smells nice!!!

Here's the links to the posts:

How henna works
Myths and Facts about henna
Cautionary words about henna!

The main thing that I'm taking away from this article is that if I do use henna are that:

1) I shouldn't be complacent about conditioning simply because its a natural dye rather. I suppose, I will just have to try henna and see how my hair feels afterwards in comparison to when I use ammonia-based hair dyes...

2) Henna contains Lawson that can mutate cells - ow, I'm not sure of all the effects of the product that I currently use, but the idea of cell mutation doesn't fill me with confidence! Then again has anyone actually done a proper scientific study to see what the real effects of henna are... (more research I think!)

Mrs O
x

How to get rid of hair dye from your hands!

2011-07-07T13:36:00.000+01:00

Ok, so on Tuesday I mentioned that I needed to sort out my 'silvers' and so as usual I bought a pack of hair dye from a well-known brand and whilst a friend was over, I started to dye my hair. I do not know what possessed me, but I didn't use gloves!!! : ( By the time I realised, it was too late. Why the friend didn't advise me is a mystery to both of us - it was only when Mr O walked in and asked what I was doing did I take note of the fact that my hands were changing colour!

Over 12 hours later, my hands are still a different shade of black compared with 24 hours ago! A classic school girl error you might say. Last night, I googled 'how to get rid of hair dye from your hands' and was met with a really unhelpful answer on Yahoo which was 'use gloves'... um DOH! If I had used gloves then I wouldn't be googling this... sigh...

Anyway, I tried a series of home 'remedies' and there is definitely a noticeable improvement, but since the initial staining was so bad, this doesnt really say a lot! Just in case anyone ever googles the same thing again, here is a little list of things that in combination/alone helped to alleviate my hair-dye stained hands....

* Note that adding more hair dye to try to 'dissolve' the stain did not work for me!

- Lemon juice (the freshly squeezed kind)
- Bicarb of soda
- Hand wash
- Washing up liquid
- Whitening toothpaste
- Shampoo
- Nail polish remover
- Alcohol hand cleansing gel
- Vanish stain removing spray!
- Window cleaner!!!!

** Also note that I did NOT soak my hands in undiluted bleach as suggested by source! (can you imagine explaining that one to your Dr!)

I tried to use natural household items as far as possible but you can just imagine the random array of chemicals that my hands are likely still covered in - not just from the hair-dye itself, but also from my 'treatments!'...

*** Finally note that I tried all these 'treatments' in the order listed above, you can see the desperation!

This experience makes my argument for finding (or darn it even making) a natural hair dye even more convincing. Seriously, my hands are still covered in ammonia. Yuck! They don't stink or anything but this cannot be good! Sigh, I just want to stop putting rubbish on my body - completely. I imagine that henna could still stain my hands, but in some way I would find this somewhat more acceptable....

Why can't I be one of those hippified people who wears bright colours and jewellery that jingles as I skip barefoot (yes, skip!) across white sands and who rides a bicycle with a hand-woven basket - all whilst casually carrying an acoustic guitar across my shoulder and sipping on carrot and ginger juice.

Sure, I realise its a massive generalisation, but really - I'd love that... to be/become that soul....

Maybe I just want to be India Arie herself?!?!

I bet she wouldn't forget to wear gloves when dying her hair... in fact, I bet she just goes to the salon...or better, I bet she doesn't even have any silvers : )p

Anyway, lesson learnt: Wear gloves when dying hair at home or just stop being a sissy and go the salon! Until the next time though, I'm going to start finding out a bit more about natural hair dyes... I have 6 weeks to come up with a natural, more hair, and apparently, hand- friendly, solution!

Mrs O
x

Hair hypocrite!

2011-07-05T17:41:00.000+01:00

I confess, I'm all into the whole 'natural hair revolution'... I love having my 'natural' hair and learning about what my hair likes and how hair behaves in response to different chemicals. Shaving my head back in 2009 has lead me on an amazing journey, changing my eating habits (except chocolate!) and learning more about the benefits of what Mother Earth has to offer. But, to call myself 'natural' is a little misleading I think.

So, I confess... my hair is not 100% natural! I haven't relaxed my hair since 2009, BUT I still use crappy 'dark and lovely'-esque hair dye! Worse still, I dye it at home - myself! The reason is that I hate going to the salon only to be told 'ooooh you have SO many grey hairs..bla bla bla bla'. Obviously, I am aware of this - thanks!! So to avoid this public embarassment in front of some of hairs worst critics (black women - you know it is true!!), I do it at home. I mean if my hair was perfect would I really be sitting in their chair?!

So as part of my DIY, I make myself a natural (really!) moisturising treatment that really helps to restore what is lost with the harsh drying chemicals found in hair dye - can you spell ammonia! Still, the fact remains, I put this crap on my hair, knowing that every time I do it, it makes my hair weaker and weaker and weaker.... go figure?! In other respects my hair is doing well - but the greys really are just not a part of who I am regardless of whether or not they sprout from my head!

SO, DO YOU KNOW OF ANY NATURAL (!) HAIR DYES THAT REALLY WORK!?

I dye my hair 'natural' black mostly or sometimes a deep mahogany colour - both of which I like equally. I don't dye my hair for any other reason than because of 'my silvers'.

Yes, I confess, I have A LOT OF 'silver' hair. I wish I could blame my PhD for causing me so much stress that it turned my hair grey - but I can't. I started silvering at age 12 (close your mouths now!)... a fellow school traveller announced this is on the coach to France one year - and this was the first I had heard of it. I should really thank her but at the time I didn't.

The ONLY good thing to come of me silvering in random places is that when I do dye my hair deep mahogany, I get copper(!) highlights which look as though they are intentional. Apart from that, there really is nothing else good about silvering this early. I have already accepted that by the time I am 50, actually probably 45, I will just allow it and rock my silver fro...but I am just too young darn it to sport grey hair. I refuse and would not even contemplate doing so... so for now, dyeing my hair is the only way forward....

I am due to dye my hair (yes myself!) and this is why I am exposing myself on the www!

I am asking for anyone out there in the hair world, whatever you're hair texture:

DO YOU KNOW OF ANY NATURAL (!) HAIR DYES THAT REALLY WORKS!?

Has anyone tried Henna? Is it any good?
I heard black tea stains the hair but does this work?

I am clueless to the options.. and am open to all and any suggestions welcomed with open arms!!!!

Mrs O
x

Little Miss O does the funniest things...

2011-07-04T21:02:00.000+01:00

Little Miss O snaps a crayon, on purpose whilst drawing.

Source: can you believe there is actually a band called broken yellow crayon!

Me: Don't break your things, you wont be able to use them in you break them like that.

I turn around, and Little Miss O has found a stick of glue (I won't disclose which brand as they have not paid me for advertising!) and she is trying to glue the two pieces of crayon back together...

I wanted to burst out laughing, but she was concentrating so hard and seemed really determined. I had the mind to lay the crayon down and replace it whilst she sleeps with a fresh, unbroken yellow crayon... I thought, all that effort...for nothing! I did think this with a sneaky smile though and decided not to reward her breaking of crayons with new crayons - probably not the best lesson for a 3 year old! Instead, I explained sensitively:

'I don't think its going to work darling, you'll just have to use a different colour'

The response I got was what can only be described as a 'death stare'. This is a stare that I recently being made aware of it. It's one of those, 'if looks could kill, then this one would, except that I would never actually kill you with anything other than my cold hard stare'... Apparently, I have been doing this stare for years and its only at work(!) that someone thought to tell me about this. Thanks family!!!! : ) Anyway, Little Miss O gave me the death stare! Its the first time that I've been on the receiving end and ouch - its a wonderful yet sometimes dangerous thing to have such an expressive face - you can always tell what I am/she is thinking...

I just had to note this down somewhere so that when she is all grown up and possibly and artist or a joiner or maybe even famous for pulling funny faces like Jim Carey, then I can remind her of this!

Thanks for giving me such funny moments Little Miss O

Mrs O
x

40 days of thankfulness

2011-07-02T10:58:00.001+01:00

So, today is day 42 of 40... That's right, my 40 days of thankfulness is up! I've not kept my blog up to date and at first I felt 'oh no! I didn't achieve what I set out to' but then I realised that I did and more. I started my blog posts on thankfulness because I was going through a moody, whingey annoying phase- I mean when you start irritating yourself by your own behaviour- there's a problem. Initially I blogged daily about what put a smile on my face that day and then as the days went on I didn't Feel the need to validate my exercise by blogging. By day 20 or so, I found that I wasn't so much having to consciously think of positive things that had happened in my day. I really feel like I've achieved something by retraining myself to find the positive and dwell less on things that don't go my way, are beyond my control, displeasing to me' or anything like that. I'm feeling so energised lately and so even if I haven't managed to write down my daily entries... I'm just as 'busy' as I was 42 days ago, except now, I don't feel stressed for all the positive things in my life.

40 days - successful xxx xxx

40 days of thankfulness

2011-06-19T15:14:00.000+01:00

I've not had a chance to update my blog this week but I have been keeping track of my days of thankfulness and making quick notes in my iPhone! I don't know what I did before this phone of mine- well actually, I carried my notebook - I still do most days but there's something nice about not having to rummage in my satchel for a pen that I like...

Today is day 28/40... This is going really quickly. So to round up my week:

Day twenty-three: thankful for people that say the right thing at exactly the right time, without really knowing how powerful their testimony is to me. This happens to me a lot actually - perhaps they know something I don't... perhaps they're angels...or perhaps I just hear what I want to : )

Day twenty-four: thankful for finding time to read by book.I sadly find it hard to make time to just sit down, chill and read for pleasure. Today I did- yey!! I'm loving 'eat, pray, love' and I'm fantasising about someday, one day, having a similar sort of book published. Someday...

Day twenty-five: today was such a productive day at work. You know one where you're in the zone and just feeling positive. I also felt really good that I work amongst people that make me laugh. I love to laugh- I'd laugh all day if I could, but then people may think I'm crazy....

Day twenty-six: we got home to find a parcel, for baby girl. It was a little baby doll (that looks like baby girl) bought by a wonderful couple of friends of ours who live in India and the UK. They're such a wonderful couple and I'm so happy to call them friends. Today I just felt so blessed on behalf of our daughter. She is so so loved and probably has no idea how much and for this I'm eternally grateful!

Day twenty-seven: thankful for stumbling into Selfridges today and meeting an international make up artist call George at the Bobbi Brown counter. She was a White lady with a fro! This, I love! She showed me how to do the most fabulous nude lip. I had no choice but to treat myself. Sure she was only doing her job, but for a dew moments, I felt fabulous!!! Also thankful that I am fit enough to run from the bus stop to the train station with a suit ass and a bag of shopping!!! I caught the train to London and spent the evening attaching up an old(my second oldest) friend.

Day twenty-eight: thankful for being able to confide in old friends.

Mrs O
x

40 days of thankfulness

2011-06-13T19:29:00.001+01:00

Day Twenty: Thankful for being able to squeeze a million and one things into my Saturday and still fall asleep smiling.

Day Twenty-One: Thankful for being able to just chill my two favourite people and being able to have a top five daytime nap (it really is the little things)!

Day Twenty-Two: Thankful for having THE world's nicest, longest, most loving snuggle with Mr O before having to get up and out of bed - kisses for breakfast really is the best thing to start my day. I've had a pretty good day and this mornings 'cuddles' (yes I'm a big kid) still tops my day! But then again, I haven't watched the glee season finale yet or Funda vs Caggie... : )P

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Nineteen - blonde skin and hair accessories!

2011-06-10T22:50:00.000+01:00

Today started off awfully and I mean awfully - painfully!

We were driving to work and I had a conversation with Baby Girl - it came out of the blue. I was totally unprepared for it. It was heartbreaking and it went like this:

Little Miss O: I want to be like Lucy

Me (knowing exactly what she meant, but hoping I was wrong): What do you mean you want be like Lucy?

Little Miss O (touching one hand with the other): I don't want to be like this

Me: What do you mean you don't want to be like you - you are you and you have beautiful brown
chocolately skin - like Mummy and like Daddy...

Little Miss O: I want to have blonde skin.

We arrived at nursery and my heart was somewhere in the pit of my stomach. It's a conversation that I imagined I would have to have with her someday - just not today - and not when she was aged three and not when I was about to drop her off to play without my supervision - and not when she was sitting behind me in the car and not with me unable to hold her beautiful 'chocolately' hand whilst she told me she doesnt want to be black!

The conversation was just wrong on so many many levels. Heartbroken, I tried so hard not to make a big deal out of what she had said. After all, she is only three.. she says a lot of random things.. like she'll say 'I don't want to go to sleep for a week!' or 'I'm not your friend anymore' or 'my baby brother gave me the biscuit' - this one is especially random as she doesn't have a baby brother...!

But today - this random comment hurt me so much. I took Little Miss O into nursery and I tried hard to acknowledge her comment without showing emotion about it (I was in shock partly!) and making her freak out over the issue but I tried so hard to say the right thing - whatever that is in such a situation!

As we walked into nursery, I pointed out the multi-coloured faces of the children and staff and commented that everyone is different and that's why everyone is special. I explained that that's why God loves us all, because he made us all different on purpose and that 'Mummy and Daddy love you very much!'. I don't know what she absorbed from our little 'chat'. She seemed very excited to enter her room and see her friends, but as I walked back to the car, the flood gates opened and my eyes filled with tears.

I got into the car, closed the door and just collapsed on my lap in the passenger seat - no doubt Mr O thought I was insane. I was distraught at having to have had that conversation so early. I felt disappointed - what had we done wrong? Why did our three year old already want to be someone else - a white girl?! I blubbered through my tears to Mr O saying 'now, she wants to be white (sniff!) - tomorrow she'll realise she will never be white (sniff!) and then the next day (sniff!), she might decide to bleach her skin (sniff!) and then she'll want to relax her hair like all the other girls in the playground (sniff!) because he thick afro wont be 'pretty' enough (sniff!)...

I went on and on and on! I was ~~probably~~ definitely over-thinking, but sometimes we do that we're not sure what to do. About 15 minutes later, I walked into work. When my office-mate asked 'how are you?', my usual chirpy 'great..bla bla bla bla...how about you?!' was replaced with 'Not good, I am so upset because baby girl doesn't want to be black!'... She was really sympathetic and told me it was significant but not life-destroying! She was right and she's a great gal to have round the office.

A couple of years ago, I would never have said that to a colleague (in fact anyone other than Mr O) that I am 'so upset'. I would just have said 'fine', which I know understand to mean Freaked out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional! : )

Now, I know that this post has been super long. It's long because today's conversation with my daughter was one that I imagine will shape our relationship - I almost feel like I have had a revelation!

Day Nineteen:

Thankful for realising that everything I do and say (and don't say) has an impact on my beautiful, bright-eyed, afro-headed brown baby and the way she sees herself and the person she will become.

Thankful for not feeling compelled to say 'fine' when I'm really really not! [big achievement for me!]

Thankful for all the hair accessories that I got for free today - to prolong the wearing of my current favourite twist-out hair do.

Thankful for finding my Matthew Williamson pashmina which I bought about 5 years ago even though I couldn't afford it. I bought it because it had my (then) initials 'M.W' on it! I enjoyed wearing this pashmina for 3 years and then I lost it! My aunt returned it to me - and then I lost it again for about a year, so I am so so so so happy to have found it today and I'm wearing it now and I will probably sleep in it! - just to make sure I don't lose it again!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Eighteen

2011-06-09T22:35:00.000+01:00

Today has been a funny day. I have pretty much laughed/danced uncontrollably for the whole day! Good times...

A lady at work, who I have to say has always gone over and above the call of duty where I am concerned brought in a mass of jewellery today and said 'free for all'. I actually ran to the coffee room to scavenge! Now, I know I said yesterday that I hate shopping, but when it comes to accessories, I don't even need to go to them - they just come to me! I love accessories and was super excited to see all the rings and earrings glittering across the table...

The story behind it is that my colleague's Husband who works as a shop-fitter and when his company goes to refit shops, anything that is left behind gets thrown in the skip - except when he takes it and gives it to my colleague and daughter. How amazing is that. All this jewellery was from the various concessions at Selfridges and all the females in my huge building came out to take their pick. I bagged myself a couple of pairs of earrings and a ring... and then I had a cheeky thought...

What if there was more of this stuff that I could take to the charity shop where I've started volunteering at?

Now, my Mum taught me that if 'you don't ask - you don't get', The Bible taught me to ask and you shall receive and so what did I do... I asked...and I received.

My lovely colleague gave me a bag of items to take to the charity shop and I was absolutely chuffed! She even said that she would bring some more items in for me tomorrow. This is a blessing, she has continuously been a blessing to me without even knowing it. I am so so grateful because not only will people buy this brand new (and very nice) jewellery, but it will get them back in the shop (possibly) in the hope that there is more jewellery there...

So:

Day Eighteen: Thankful for other people's generosity - and for Mr O bringing out a surprise tub of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough!

This day has been a ~~good~~ great one!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful- day 16 and day 17

2011-06-09T00:21:00.000+01:00

So, today I'm doing day 16 and day 17 in one go....

Yesterday was good... the particularly positive parts:

1) I realised that for 16 days straight (now 17) that I have been thinking positive, whinging less and spreading sunshine all around! Woo hoo!

2) I'm really excited about Mindy Kaling's book release in November.I only heard of Mindy recently actually when I started watching the American Office. The number of parallels between Mindy and I is a little freaky, but I love the show and can't seem to get enough... Her book 'is everyone hanging out without me (and other concerns)' is exactly the sort of book that I like... full of short sweet chapters, where I don't have to concentrate on 10 plots that have been skillfully woven together. I'll admit it, my attention span doesn't really lend itself to reading long prose. Sometimes I wish I could - but so far, I don't seem able to do this. Give me a collection of Maya's poems or even a script from a scene of Romeo and Juliet and I can be left alone for hours..

The first few pages of Mindy's book (I guess it's a sneak peek) made actually laugh out loud. I was just really excited to have been introduced to this book and I can't wait for my copy in November!

Day Sixteen: Thankful for the persistence that has helped me reach day 16 of my 40 and for people who introduce me to things that make me laugh.

Onto today. Well, I can't actually express how happy I am today!!! Today definitely took a convoluted road to 'thankfulness' (which isn't to say I have spent the day whinging/being negative/being ungrateful) but the day was just topped of by my impromptu shopping trip!

Now, I like going to the shops and stumbling upon items that scream my name BUT I loathe - detest even, shopping with a purpose - unless its for a gift and then I love the treasure hunt! For me though, there is little worse than heading out to the shops to find a specific item of clothing... for some reason, I never EVER find what I am looking for. I have toyed with the idea of becoming a seamstress JUST so that I don't have to shop for clothes anymore - that is how much I can't stand traipsing around the shops looking for said item or worse itemS! This evening, that is exactly what I did : ( I traipsed round (thank God for UGGs) looking for a black shift dress to wear for my graduation. I walked along wishing that I already owned one, kicking myself for not buying all those cute shift dresses I had surely caught a glimpse of in the winter months. Why oh why did I have to wait until I needed this item before looking for it! Huff! Alas, there is no such dress - in my size available to buy in the shops where my wallet will stretch to....I wont even look in shops that I cannot buy from (this just wastes my energy and makes me even more fed up - and slightly depressed and envious of others - not a result guys!!) So, I was getting fed up, my shoulders were aching, my feet were trobbing and this is after less than 2 hours of shopping albeit also after 9 hours at work!

I turned the corner in my final shop (yes, I had decided it was my final shop! I only really enter 5/6 select shops nowadays. In fact, make it 5 as I am black-listing H & M now for anything other than causal gear. So, I turned the corner in my final shop (Zara) and there it was - a stumblee! I just stumbled upon what I think I will wear for my graduation next month. I didn't even try it on. I just took what I know to be my now fuller size and paid for it. Just like that. I then popped into one of the even fewer places that I buy shoes from and bang, they had my size! I had searched for this exact same pair of shoes in 2 shops already and they didn't have my size. You can't imagine my happiness when the shop assistant came out holding my shiny shoes - and they were in the sale! So, in less than 2 hours I managed to get an outfit plus shoes for my graduation!!!

I am soooooooooooooooooo happy right now. Like I said, this is one shopping trip I was not looking forward to - but I think I have covered it in one fell swoop...

Woooo hooooo!

Day Seventeen: Grateful for stumbling upon clothes instead of having to traipse around looking for them! Serious joy!

40 days of being thankful

2011-06-06T23:50:00.000+01:00

Day Fourteen: Day fourteen was actually yesterday, but I had a choice between doing a much needed face mask, hair mask and body scrub or writing on my blog. My choice is clear and its actually what by the end of yesterday I was most thankful for. It was great just to spend a bit of time with me, myself and I. It was lovely. Call me a narcisist, but I really enjoyed these precious moments with myself.

Day Fourteen: Thankful for being able to spend time with 'me'.

Day Fifteen: That is today. I popped to the bank to sort out one quick thing and ended up chatting to the customer service advisor - let's call her Annette, for an hour and a half! She asked me about my studies and work and stuff and congratulated me on being able to change my account to 'Dr'... yes, it has really taken me this long! Anyhow, I'm not at all sure how, but we started talking about houses, mortgages and kids.... some of my favourite lines she said were:

'you just don't put off children.. you just don't... unless you're waiting so you don't have 2 children in nursery at the same time?!

'some people say they're 'trying for a baby' but what does that even mean!'

'you wont find a Mother who says putting off children is a good idea... sure, the 'childless' will but no Mother would'

'once you have an age gap between the first and second child, it's easy to try for the same age gap between the next two and then by the time you get that stage, there'll be something that gets in the way...and then there's the birth...if you have one baby, you think the second time wont be as bad, but then the second time you also think you're going to die...so when it comes to thinking about baby no3, you ask yourself 'do I really want to go through all that again?...'

Seriously, all this advice came from a stranger. The weirdest thing is that she was saying the same things that other mature women have said to me before. I'm sure they all say it for different reasons, but the advice is always the same - and she was right, I've not met a single Mother who advises 'putting off' children until X or Y or X... but I have met many 'childless' that say that... its strange.

I said to her 'Annette, you're a blessing. Sometimes people say things at the right time, even though they don't realise it... you're a blessing'. At this point, she grabbed a rather chic mid-thirties guy and told him what I had said! lol I was a bit unsure why, but I sang her praises and told him how much I had gained from popping into the bank today. It turns out that he is the bank manager. Now, I know he 'supposed' to be nice to his clients BUT we got on like a house on hire... and now we're best of friends...

Day Fifteen: Thankful to have established a good rapport with my bank manager!

40 days of being thankful: Day Thirteen

2011-06-05T01:17:00.001+01:00

After my exhausting week, day thirteen has been really bright!

It started with me eating brekkie in the garden with Little Miss O. She picked a rose (with Mr O's help) from the bush and presented it to me saying - 'you can put it in your hair'. She knows me so well already - and so I did just that - I put the rose in my hair (sure it wilted through the day, but I enjoyed it whilst it lasted)!

I then headed off for round 2 of my volunteering. I have to admit, I almost felt like I was in my element seriously - turning one man's junk (and I use the term loosely) into another man's treasure is the epitome of recycling for me - I love it.

I'm a total moocher-turned hoarder-turned-seeker of all things with a history, a life before we 'met', anything random, anything I have never seen before and especially especially anything shiny. I admit it - I'm a magpie...or worse a baby; anything shiny and I'm salivating all over it!

Basically, I enjoyed working at the charity shop today. I loved that I did it for free and simply because I want to give back to the church and God that I get so much out of. It's not a lot of time, but its a little more than I had been doing... so its a step in the right direction : )

After the charity shop, we went to this Afro-Caribbean party in the park. It didn't exclude non-African or non-Caribbean people, but it was full of food from these nations, artefacts, jewellery, info. about fairtrade stuff! Basically, it was my kind of place to be on a Sunny Saturday afternoon...

Anyhow, Little Miss O loved bopping around to the music and playing in the park. At one point she announced 'that's Jennifer Lopez' as soon as the song started! This was hilarious for me because I have spent the last couple of weeks having the following conversation:

Little Miss O (excited as she loves X factor): That's Cheryl Cole!
Me: No it isn't. That's Jennifer Lopez.
Little Miss O: It is Cheryl Cole, she has the same hair and the same clothes
Me: No, it's Jennifer Lopez!

I was so happy to realise that she does take in what I say... when we bought ice-creams, she even said 'what do you want guys?' after selecting her own! I just felt so proud of her the whole day!

In the park, there was this swing where several swings were arranged in a circle and facing one another. It was an interesting play structure and every one commented on it. I sat opposite Little Miss O whilst her Daddy pushed her. It was great being able to watch them, whilst swinging too! Next to me was a black lady with her natural hair in rolls and next to the lady with rolls in her hair, was her daughter. Her daughter had the cutest cornrows and braids. I thought 'I want her hairstyle - for myself!'... The other Mum and I gave each other that natural-head acknowledgement; It's almost like a mutual understanding that I can't really articulate in words, but it felt good. The little girl told Little Miss O 'I like your hair!' and Little Miss O beamed. She gets this compliment quite a lot - mostly from people who want to touch her 'minnie mouse pom poms'... but I think getting such a compliment from a fellow little girl had some sort of novelty for her - it was such a cute moment!

So that small experience made me feel positive.

We rolled down a few kills, ran a few races, are a few ice-creams, went for dinner and just enjoyed the weather...

This is all a very haphazard account of my Saturday, but heck, the sun was shining and it really was a lovely day! Fine, it rained in the end and we had to rush and get all my laundry in - but hey - if doesn't rain the flowers wont grow, right and if the flowers don't grow, what will my baby girl have to give me to put in my hair? This alone will make me smile next time it rains - seriously.

Day Thirteen: Thankful for having the freedom to offer my time voluntarily, roll down hills wearing a dress and indulge in my family's culture!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Twelve

2011-06-04T01:08:00.001+01:00

Day Twelve: Today its a quicky. Thankful for an understanding Mummy!!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Eleven

2011-06-02T20:54:00.000+01:00

Today has been one of those rough days where I've barely had time to inhale, let alone ponder upon what is 'the most positive' thing that has happened. So I suppose I should just be thankful that I can actually breathe... that I can see to type these words... that I could read all the random pieces of paper that were thrust in my face today... So many people cannot read, cannot share the written word of others, cannot share knowledge and enjoy other people's imaginations. I can. I am blessed. More to the point, I am fortunate enough to be able to read and write in English. So many cant and millions upon billions of pounds and hours are spent by people wishing they could read and write as I can. Again - I am blessed.

Gosh, to think that today I was struggling for the space to even think about my blessings. My blessings are present in the most basic of things.

In fact, just writing that makes me feel positive. I'm thankful that I have someone (someone pretty special) to come to today - after all, not everyone does. After my hectic day, I've been able to come home and off-load... relax and have fun x I am really blessed for that. So many people crave companionship - and so, for that - I'm thankful.

Day Eleven: Thankful for companionship and for being able to read and write...in English...

P.s. if you can read this, you're already blessed!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Shout out to my Mr

2011-06-01T17:45:00.000+01:00

Today has been one hectic day at work - it's been go-go-go...so, as is common for such days, the day has passed by in a flash.

I'm still at work as I type this and in 10 minutes, I'll be leaving.. not to go home (boo!) but to a conference, where a world famous professor is going to be talking about global health and how to make the world's most unhealthy people more healthy. Now, I know this can't be done in an and a half BUT I'm going because health is one of my main passions - it's what I do for my day job and it's the only 'proper' job that I have ever wanted. Still, I couldn't do any of these random 'extra curricular' activities without the support of my super-fantabulous Husband.... so here's a small shout out to him.

Mr O - you're actually the best. No doubt ever girl thinks they're married to the bestest Husband ever, but I really really am. I am forever greatful for your support and encouragement and general good humour. I know that its hard being married to an ambitious woman, who always has to be doing something, planning something and making things happen, but just know that I appreciate everything you do and say for and to me. I really do. You (and the Big G) are my absolute strength - you're a rock - my rock and you rock!

I could go on forever, but (rolls eyes) I've gotta run. Baby, to be continued when I get back xxxx

Mwwwwwahness - always!!

Day Ten: Thankful for a super-fabulous and supportive Husband!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Nine

2011-05-31T22:12:00.000+01:00

Bill Bryson said it about Durham, and now I'm saying it about soundcloud. Seriously, if you haven't been there, go at once!

Day Nine: Thankful to have discovered soundcloud.

Mrs O

x

40 days of being thankful: Day Eight

2011-05-30T19:58:00.001+01:00

Today, we took Little Miss O to an art gallery. It's not just any art gallery - its one with the best food in town and one which I used to take her to every single week when she was younger. It was like a second religion for us. Baby girl was so excited to be going back and this time, we took Daddy (Mr O) along with us. He's never been before, he was always at work and he wondered why I raved about it so much.

Anyhow, we had planned to go with a couple of friends and their little ones, but at the last minute they told us that they couldn't make it. Little Miss O was disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing these little pals today but we went anyway. In the pouring rain, we arrived and ran into the gallery. I'm not sure who was more excited to be there - I think it was a close call between us all. As soon as she had taken her shoes, coat and tights off, Little Miss O spotted 4 'friends' of hers and their parents - friends of ours. It made me realise that we are part of a little community here - the community of green-space seeking/gallery-visiting/bike/scooter-riding, raisins, bread-sticks and houmous eating-young families round here and it made us all feel good. Even though we like the anonymity of not living in our home towns (you know, where you can't leave the house without neighbour no. 1 telling you about what neighbour no2's aunty did last week), its nice sometimes - like today, to bump into familiar faces, you know, just by chance...

Day Eight: thankful for feeling part of a community

Mrs O
x

Day Seven - Why worry when you can pray!

2011-05-29T23:03:00.001+01:00

Today has been a good day - a great day. The 'negativity' of last week is gone and I am very much enjoying my 3-day weekend! I was especially grateful for the message preached at church today. Our guest sermon was amazing. It was about prayer and how we don't wait until the fire before we run-through a fire drill... so why should be wait until everything goes wrong before humbling ourselves, opening our hearts and minds to the word of God in prayer. Why is it that we just assume we know how to 'pray'. Fine there is no right or wrong way, but surely there is nothing worse than feeling the need to 'pray' and not having a clue where to start. I don't want to be at that place, so I'm going to step up my prayer game! I think it fits in well with my 40 days of gratitude and positivity, so I'll probably use the time when I just 'think' or 'blog' about being grateful to pray instead. I'm still going to write on here what I am particularly positive about each day (33 left!), but I'd like to focus more of my energy into prayer and sharing this little exercise with God himself. I'm really enjoying this desire in me to connect with God and build my relationship with him. I am verging on the edge of 'Bible-bashing' now (which I generally don't like!), but I totally believe in what I am saying, so its hard not to... funny how things swing around!

A really poignant point made today at church was this:

When we're going through troubles, what should we do? Should we sing 'nobody know the troubles I've seen....' Heck no! Nobody knows your troubles? - Who cares! Seriously, this is what our guest pastor said. You really have to imagine this being relayed in a thick Nigerian accent. If you were there in church this morning, you'd be able to testify to how powerful it was when he said these next words...

'who cares about your troubles - everyone has their own! Why worry when you can pray!'

So simply, yet so powerful. Sure, there will still be times when I worry (I'm human after-all!), but imagine if every time I catch myself fretting about something or other, I just stop and pray. Imagine if all the energy I put into moaning, I put into prayer instead. This is such a revelation to me - much like last week's session about positivity and actively making things happen rather than just waiting for them to happen.

For these messages and for my church, I am truly thankful.

Today, I am also thankful for old friends, who make you smile - always. Even when you see them infrequently, you're able to carry on the conversation where you left off. I'm especially grateful for said old friends who congratulate me on losing the baby-weight (I have had 3 years to do so and to be fair, I didn't actually put on any weight!). It's nice to get a little recognition from time to time - for apparently 'not letting yourself go all bleugh!' lol. Charmed, I'm sure!

Much happiness, sunshine and light.

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Six

2011-05-28T22:18:00.000+01:00

So many things to be thankful for today. Started working my first shift at my church's charity shop. In the words of Little Miss O - 'I had a nice time'... afterwards met up with her sweetness and his most handsome and played some basketball...

We have just had the most lovely day - apart and together.

The most positive thing for me today is knowing that Mr O and I can do things together and apart. I love that about our relationship. We aren't each other's everything, we find and seek happiness in things outside of our marriage. This keeps us ourselves and means that we always have something to add to our marriage - things always feel new and fresh.

It just feels like a good thing.

I'm chilling at home, whilst Mr O goes wild in another town - and it works perfectly!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Day Five

2011-05-27T21:36:00.000+01:00

DAY FIVE

Today, I am so so so SO thankful that I have a 3-day weekend to look forward to. A three-day weekend where I don't have to drive to work, where I don't have to have difficult conversations with people who should really know better, where I don't have to go for lunches that I don't have to do anything work-related. Nudda! No plans to travel across the country, nor pack or unpack any suitcases, where I don't have to pay for overpriced cold water at a service station, where I wont have to wait in line with a clear zip-lock bag containing my own innocent products... I wont have to any of this 'travel' related stuff... I just get to chill, play, relax and make a few plans with my Mr...

Just what I have been needing...

Fantastico!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful: Hustles, Water Guns and an obligatory 'Crazy' Lady

2011-05-26T21:47:00.000+01:00

DAY FOUR

This morning, whilst driving to work with Mr O, we saw two guys running towards each other. One guy had just jumped off a bus, he ran, and handed his bus pass to the other guy. The other guy (this is guy no.2) snatched the bus pass and then ran onto a bus travelling in the opposite direction from the other side of the road. Mr O and I just said to ourselves... at least we don't have to hustle like that...

So, the day started positive.

And then it went downhill. Seriously downhill. As the day went on, I got more and more annoyed with things that are beyond my control. For me, being annoyed about stuff I can't do anything about is the worst reason to be annoyed...and that made me even more annoyed and even disappointed in myself for letting such nonsense affect my mood. Not good!

I was trying desperately all day to think of something particularly good that has happened - to me. But, it really has just been one of those days - sure I was about to think and so could be thankful about my faculties are in tact, but I wanted more. I wanted something to 'happen' or to come to some realisation. I was just in a bad mood and was eager to get out of the office and home. We one stop to make beforehand though we had to take Little Miss O to the shop to empty her piggy bank and convert her coins into hard cash. She has been 'saving' for months, but recently she has been struggling to put our loose coins in there recently (the pig was full of copper!), so we had to go and today.

We decided to let baby girl choose a little treat that she could pay for herself - she chose 'Mog the forgetful cat' and a pack of water guns which she then used to water a house plant! Her change is going straight back into her piggy bank, but now it takes up less room! So, today, I was thankful that we taught Little Miss O what can happen if you save.. you can buy yourself nice things - like books and water guns - which she loves.

But other than this, there still wasn't anything 'blog-worthy' for me to report as being a particularly positive personal experience... or is it just that the negative things are easier to see? Or is just that I don't realise all the positive things...

Anyhow, as we park up in the driveway, our local crazy lady (now, I know it's not PC, but we call her this with affection) says to me:

"Hello lady [who is she calling lady I thought, but then I call her 'lady' too, so I figure its ok!?]...are you a nurse?"

I wanted to say "no, I'm a doctor", but then I'd be like Ross from friends and have to admit that I can't help her with today's ailment. Instead, I said

"No, I'm not"

"Are you a Mum?"

"ummm...yes, I am" I said taking my cuteness out of the car.

The crazy lady went on to tell me that she was a Mum, and that the child was mixed race and would have gone to boxing club, but 'they' took the child from her and she wasn't allowed to have the child. She said she had to have 3 operations and now she has no periods....she said that she isn't 'allowed' to be a Mum.

This was the first time I've ever heard someone say that they aren't 'allowed' to be a Mum. I actually found it quite disturbing. She announced that she was off to post her letters and then said

"Bye Lady"

"Bye Lady - take care" I replied.

It was an interesting conversation. I didn't know which parts to believe to be honest, but I felt bad that that was how she felt - that she was not 'allowed' to be a Mum. It sounds silly but my first thought was 'aaaaw, I'm pleased I was 'allowed' to be a Mum'. And, I kind of liked her more than usual because she considered that being a Mum was my job.

We got into the house, and have just seen a program about 'older' Mums and the steep decline of fertility after age 35. Now, on a daily basis I feel blessed to be a Mummy to a gorgeous little girl, but watching this program made me feel it in a different way. I felt lucky that Little Miss O was conceived so easily, in love and without drama...no IVF, no ovulation calculator, no thermometer. I'm sure I don't need to draw a diagram, but I feel really lucky to have become a Mum just out of love - and little else.

The end of the program said that the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology has suggested that school girls should be taught about fertility to help them reconcile the career/motherhood dilemma that so many women only consider later in life.

Watching this 30 minute docufilm and my conversation with the local crazy lady made me feel thankful and just in time too! It was the perfect way for me to end my seriously rubbish work day! So, yey, I looked and I found something positive that happened today - to me!

I'm thankful for being a Mum and for the fact that God has already taken the career/motherhood dilemma out of my hands - and transformed my life - for the better.

Sunshine, light and all things rosey!

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful

2011-05-26T00:36:00.000+01:00

DAY THREE

Today I got the chance to spend the evening with Mr O - just me and Mr O. For any busy couple or busy parents out there... you'll know just how precious it is to have these moments. Thank you to a certain scrumptious babysitter for facilitating this for us. We're having a really fun time.

I'm a little hyper right now...as I tend to get from time to time...

So, today, I'm thankful for fun times! ; )

x

Mrs O

40 days of being thankful

2011-05-24T23:44:00.001+01:00

DAY TWO
So, yesterday I started on a journey, a journey of positivity and thankfulness. Today, I've actively sought to recognise my blessings and think about what I'm thankful for. It's ironic that when I am actually looking for good things, there seem to be so many. I really am a very blessed gal!

Today I had Bible study class, aka 'footsteps' and as I drove there, I was thinking "mmmm perhaps I'll pop to the Krispy Kreme drive-thru after class"...
Low and behold, I arrive at my course and what is sitting on the table???? Krispy Kremes...! My favourite...cut into halves, so I could sample more than one flavour. This was the first thing I am thankful for...being able to tuck into my 3 favourite flavours without having to eat three whole donuts!

The second thing I am truly thankful for today is new opportunities...

In our class we were talking about things that we can get out of church, like opportunities and a church family, opportunities to fellowship and so on. We were also talking about what we can give back to the church... and this is where I am thankful.

I have been thinking for a while about volunteering in some way towards the upkeep of our church. It is an amazing building (A.M.A.Z.I.N.G), an amazing church, a society, a family if you will. When I go there I know without a shadow of a doubt that the holy spirit is alive, present and thriving in everyone in the church. You go to our church and you just wanna be on whatever everyone else is on....you would even take a double dose! I just love it.

Anyhow, somebody mentioned that there is a church-run charity shop that needs volunteers.

I heard my name...

Now, I didn't know where the charity shop was, but I felt that the call was for me and that I had to answer - and today. Not just because I wanted to have something to write about on this here blog (I was already thankful for the krispy kremes!), but because it is a desire that has been playing on my heart for a while now. I just had to stand up and say - PICK ME!

Now, volunteering takes time and let's face it, between working a 40 hour week, date night with Mr O, catching up with friends, Mummy time with Little Miss O, attending burlesque class and reading for pleasure(!), I don't have that much 'spare' time. BUT I definitely have time to give back to my church - I get so much from my church that I feel compelled to do this really. I have to make time for this and on days when I think I can't, I'm pretty sure that God will show me just how I can make the time... So, then I ask 'where is the shop' and I'm told that it has just opened about 7 minutes walk from my house!

God is good! He knows I don't have time to galavant, so he puts it right on my doorstep. I have no excuse!

So, as of Saturday (yes, this Saturday!), whilst Little Miss O and Mr O are off having 'Father-Daughter' time, I'm going to be working on the new charity shop project. I'd usually spend these few hours cleaning the house or some other mind-numbing task, but not this week. In preparation for not being able to do my obligatory chores this Saturday, I've just done a blitz of the bathrooms...if I focus on one room each day of the week, then I wont have as much to do on Saturday morning - thus making time for my volunteering! Woo hoo and then all will be right with the universe again! : )p

That's day two for you: I'm thankful for and feeling positive about new opportunities...

Mrs O
x

40 days of being thankful...

2011-05-23T19:20:00.000+01:00

Yesterday at church, I was totally inspired and motivated. I loved every minute of the three hours... to be honest, I think three hours was a bit much for Mr O - but me - I was in my element...

We had about an hour of pure singing and worship, which really just lifted my spirit and properly got me warmed up for connecting with God and my fellow-believers. I was ready to receive the message and my heart was wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open - it really was great.

The message from our Pastor was 'be positive'... I know its a simple message really, but when its delivered with power and belief, you actually believe it and take it as Gospel... Our Pastor explained to us that can't just get up one day and win a 400-metre race - you have to train - and train hard! I felt quite smug at this point because I definitely fall into the 'work hard...' camp! He explained that if you want to succeed, you have to arrive early and leave late - basically, you have to put the effort in. A good starting point for this is to have a plan A. Sure, Plan A might fail (see many many previous posts from me for evidence), but, if Plan A fails, there is always Plan B...

if Plan B fails, then there is always Plan C. If that fails, this doesn't make it time to fall to the ground in a heap (our Pastor demonstrated this!), wailing that the Lord has forsaken you.. .heck no he hasn't, he gave us the whole frigging alphabet (OK, our Pastor didn't say 'frigging'!)... we have all the letters up until 'Z'; failing Plan Z, we can create Plan double A! Now, in fairness, if I reached the point where Plan C failed, I'd probably develop a new Plan and call it Plan A2, for no other reason than because I have an attitude about me which screams 'I refuse to accept defeat'.... It's not necessarily a healthy attitude, but we can deal with that in another post! : )

So, anyhow, our Pastor went on to tell us how in life, the negative things seem to jump out at us at every turn. We don't even try to find negative things, they're just there, annoyingly surfacing left right and centre.... but positive things, well sometimes we have to rack our brains to think of them. The problem with negativity is that is stifles creativity and innovation. This is so true. So true, I feel that I should say it again:

Negativity stifles creativity and innovation.

This one sentence screamed out at me louder than anything else our Pastor said yesterday. It got me because I often say 'my creativity has been stifled by academia'... I wonder now though, has my creativity been stifled by my negativity. Although, I don't regard myself as negative, I (like everyone) have my moments... today, I started thinking, what if I spent more time thinking about the positive things and actually cancelling out negative things in my life. Seriously. What if for every negative thought/action, I cancelled it with a positive?! Does it work like that? Do thoughts and actions work like that? I don't know...but I wanna find out... it can't hurt, right?

So, back to the point of my post... each day I plan to consciously think of positive things in my life. My blog is called 'planning, praying, playing', so it wouldn't be fun for me unless I zapped the fun out of it by creating 'rules' and a plan!!).. So, my rules are:

1) I can't repeat the same positive thing on more than one day

2) It has to be something that I properly, truly and consciously feel thankful for or positive about on that day

3) I have to do this for at least 40 days. Why 40, well Goliath came for 40 days before David managed to kill him... Jesus fasted for 40 days....Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days and Noah waited 40 days before opening the window of his ark... sure the numbers 3, and 12 are also significant, but 40 just seems like it will require more effort... surely, the more I put into this little task of mine, the more I get out of it.

So, with that - my first thing to be positive and thankful about is:

DAY ONE
Today, I received a book sent to our daughter by a loving friend of ours. Less than a week ago, said friend and I spoke on the phone (the first time in a while) and I told her about how Little Miss O thinks that every birthday is her birthday. This reminded her of a book that she read as a child 'Too much Birthday'. We laughed and carried on our conversation. Today, we got back from work and found this book lying on the doormat. Said friend had ordered the book for Little Miss O and had it delivered straight from Amazon. It only occurred to me that said friend had texted me a few days ago to 'confirm' my address so that she could update her address book. So, in short, I am thankful for my dear friend 'M.D' : ) She is from India, Hong Kong and now Cardiff.. we met in the North East of England and for her, I am truly thankful. In her presence, I feel positive and every time we speak, she brightens my mood. I feel that 'M.D' is very worthy of being my reason to feel thankful and positive today... thank you M.D - here's sending much love, sunshine and positivity your way sweets!!!!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah!

Sunshine, light and positivity - for 40 days (and maybe for always...let's see how this goes...)

Mrs O
x

Little Miss O says the Funniest Things

2011-05-14T21:43:00.000+01:00

I'm in the study, surfing the web and reading other people's blogs --- generally enjoying a spot of me time... Mr O and Little Miss O are enjoying bath time... there is a lot of splashing going on over in there...

Little Miss O (alarmed) - 'Mummy! Daddy is trying to put soap in my mouth!'

Mr O (seemingly shocked by the accusation) - 'WHAT! No, I didn't!!!'

Little Miss O - 'Yes you DID, I can TAAAAASTE it!!!!'

Seriously, somebody needs to call Channel 4 and get them to spend just 24 hours in our house! Life is never dull with a 3 year old around!

Mrs O
x

Phenomenal woman, that's me...

2011-05-13T20:19:00.000+01:00

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

By Maya Angelou, not me!

M
x

Passion makes the world go round...

2011-05-09T22:18:00.001+01:00

Passion makes the world go round, love just makes it a safer place... Or say said Jazmine Sullivan...

Go figure?!?!

How do we know the difference between love, lust, crushing, obsession, being 'in' love?

I've felt all these emotions for my husband...But still, if asked to explain these concepts, I find myself at a loss for words.. If you know me' personally, then you know that me' being lost for words is as rare as an eclipse!

What do 'butterflies' mean? Are they a prerequisite for falling 'in' love--- I mean, can true love happen without them? Can butterflies be felt with some who isn't your 'true love'?

So many questions that I would love to be able to answer confidently someday...maybe I will, maybe not.

If you really want to get me started, ask what a soulmate is?!?! How many of us are lucky enough to meet them? I've 'no' idea how to define Such things...

I've been (for want of a better word) counselling people and being counselled myself recently about relationships, love and marriage. Then suddenly, I realised, what the fr*ck do I even know. I only have my own experience to go by, I'm still very much a newlywed and I have learnt so much from those who have gone before me'- you've just gotta love the 'aunties' who tell it like it is...

For now though, I'm enjoying thinking about these different emotions and what they mean to my husband and I... And to my closest most friends and famble- thank you for your words!

Happy Monday
X
M

It's been a while...

2011-05-04T22:53:00.000+01:00

... I got busy guys, with the non-cyber world... I lost my blogging mojo. Things have been happening in my life that I wasn't sure I wanted to share on this here space on the web. Whilst everything on here is 'me', I would never put my entire 'self' out there for others to view. Some things are private, right? Also, once I I wasn't sure why I blogged. I knew why I started blogging in the first place, but why I continued to blog, I just don't know. Sure, I liked blogging, sure comments are good to hear...but 'why did I keep blog'.

You see, I've always written, always kept a diary, always shared aspects on my life with people...so blogging was probably a natural 21st century progression for me. But blogging is different. Sometimes people actually read what I write and sometimes I write with the intention of the content being read e.g. when offering tips to other etc. I realised that I was writing for an 'audience'...for people who know me personally initially. Blogging was a way to keep my family and friends updated on the latest happenings, because, surprise surprise, I was too busy to talk to all of them (well, I guess I should 'you') and sometimes repeating the same thing gets a bit tedious - no matter how much you love the person you're talking to!

Anyhow, I'm just gonna spend some more time thinking about why I blog, what I blog about and why I blog about it...

So, if any of the 38 followers, couple of hundred facebook pals, non-facebook friends and family, random colleagues and random passers by are still receiving blog updates.. hey and thanks for sticking with me..

I'll def be sharing some of the stuff I've experienced over the past month or so - before I forget it...

Until next time..

Mrs O
x

Little Miss O says the funniest things...about poo and willies! : \

2011-04-05T08:57:00.000+01:00

So, yesterday was Mother's Day here in the UK and Little Miss O and her Daddy took me to the farm - an ice-cream farm! It really was such a lovely way to spend the day...really!

This was Little Miss O's first trip to a real 'working' farm, where she got to see the cows being milked and even have a go with a 'pretend' cow. She loved seeing the pigs sleeping in their own doo doo (I think I am giving up pork as a result of this guys!).. she also loved seeing the miniature horses and stroking the fluffy sheep! I even plucked up the courage to touch the animals - errrrr the things you do to teach your kids eh!

Pigs at Cheshire ice-cream farm

Anyhoo, onto the funny part - when one of the cows had finished being milked, she (the cow) started walking away with her (cow) pals. Then suddenly, milk started to leak from her mahoosive udder. Cue Little Miss O, shrieking with excitement:

"ooooh, THAT's a big willy! Look, he's wee'd himself!"

Again guys, can you spell mortified! The whole crowd (and there were LOTS of kids, parents, Grandparents to witness the scene) burst out laughing! I shrunk, and then once I had recovered from the initial horror (!), I decided to educate my child. I explained that 1) its a female (Mummy cow), because only 'Mummy cows' have milk; 2) as she is a 'Mummy cow', she doesn't have a 'willy' but has 'udders' which are just like (and I used this loosely!) Mummy's breasts; 3) the cow wasn't 'weeing herself', but her milk has just leaked...

She seemed to understand the female/male issue but still looked concerned that the cow did not use the toilet for her 'wee'... I mean, even Little Miss O understands that you should not 'wee' on the floor...

This incident, coupled with Little Miss O complaining every 5 minutes that 'it STINKS here', 'it smells of poo poo Mummy, yuck!' made me SO happy that we took her. Let me tell you, we are NOT 'farm people', we are very much urbanites - and happy with this BUT we want Little Miss O to have experiences - we want her to know that the 'poo' smell is manure and cow pats! We want her to be knowledgeable - even if that means spending the day at the farm! For us, a farm that makes ice-cream (that was near orgasmic, I have to add) was the perfect day out for us...and an easy way to ease us into the outdoors. We're looking forward to doing more things like this with Little Miss O...not just on obligatory holidays, but regularly...

Happy Belated Mother's Day

Mrs O
x

How I really got my PhD - part 3...

2011-03-31T22:09:00.000+01:00

...a few more tips and things that helped me through my PhD.

A DEDICATED PERSON: I've alluded before to the idea of it taking a village to raise a child idea and accepting or asking for help whenever you have an inkling of needing it! Well, I also think if you can manage it, find an extra-special person to support you. I had my (amazing!) husband, but it doesn’t actually matter who it is. The person just needs to be totally in tune with you and be there for you. Someone who is a confidante. Bear in mind though, that even your No #1 go-to person can run out of energy – just like you, they are human. They need a break too. For the times when they just can’t take any more, it’s useful to have someone else – luckily I had one of these too, though I’m not sure she knows how great she was. I’ll be sure to tell her again!

A DEDICATED SPACE: Create a space that is for you. A space where you can leave your books for an hour (to rest/play/cook/clean) and where you can be sure that when you get back, they’ll still be there. Luckily, we have a 3 bedroom house, so one room is ‘our’ MY study. To an outsider its full of post-its, pin board, spidergrams, stacks of paper piled randomly, topped with books and journal articles. To me, this was the basis of my work – if anything was touched – I’d know. Even if it’s just a corner in your lounge/bedroom, try to have a small space that is yours. A space where you get into the ‘zone’ and get your geek on!

YOU time: OK, I know I just said that you should focus on your studies BUT you’ve gotta have something else too. Something that isn’t kid-related or study-related, but something that is JUST.FOR.YOU. Something that YOU enjoy. I know you might think you don’t have time – but it’s not true. You DO have time for you, you just have to adjust your timetable and take that time out. It will mean a tiny bit less time studying, or a tiny bit less time with your loved ones BUT investing in you is an investment in your family. It’s just like on a plane, they tell you to put your life jacket on first, before helping others – there’s a reason for that. So, to clarify, you need to have it – just don’t let it take over.

KNOW WHEN TO STOP: A strong woman knows when to stop. When it is all just too much or too hard – stop. Like I said, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If deep down you really really feel you need a break from your studies – take the break. If you feel you need a break from your child(ren) – take the break. Everyone will thank you and it really is OK. I know someone who took 18 months off from a 3 year course because it all got too much. She went back, finished and has two very grown and handsome sons, a PhD and has also had a fabulous career! If she can do it, so can you!

For now, I think those are about all the tips that I have re. getting through your studies/any life challenge I suppose, as a Mummy or anyone..

Mrs O

2011-03-30T08:23:00.000+01:00

Continuing on then with stuff that I don't want to forget and things that might help someone else in cyberspace in a similar situation - here’s my take on comparing yourself to other Mums, making the most of ‘team Mum’, the pitfalls of juggling too much and the benefits of problem sharing.

DON’T MAKE COMPARISONS: Quit looking at others for comparison. So what if all the people you went to school/university with are enjoying wild crazy professional lives with the disposable income to match. You keep studying – yours will come later, and by that time, your kid(s) will be grown, you’ll have more disposable income than they have now and you’ll have the maturity to know how to use it! (Or you’ll blow it all on expensive handbags – but hey, that’s your prerogative!)

You are living your life, so just do the very best with it that you can – after all, that is all everyone else is doing too. Other people’s lives only look greener from your side. Remember though, the grass is greenest where you water it! Just do the best that you can do with what you’ve got.

‘TEAM MUM’: If you want to pass, then you just have to accept help from Team Mum – they want to help you believe it or not. So, quit the denial. Yes, I know it’s hard – especially as us young Mums often think we have to prove that we can handle it all despite our age or lack of preparedness for parenting.

Trust me, you don’t have to prove anything. No one is waiting for you to fall and you’ll be happier for just saying ‘yes please’ and grabbing all help – with both hands! ‘Help’ could mean anything from your Mum having the kid(s) for a day, allowing a prolific commenter to write a guest post for your blog (Note from Young Mommy: “YES!”) or borrowing a coursemate’s book. The funny thing about help is that if every time you decline help, the ‘giver’ might think that you genuinely don’t want/need it, when in fact you’re just being stubborn/proud/in denial (delete as appropriate).

A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM HALVED: Make friends with other Mums (or Dads) at playgroup, nursery – wherever! Just as I said before, these people know what you’re going through with your kid(s). Even if they’re 35, and seem to have everything, it’s nice to see that their kids act up just as much as yours do and that your kid’s behaviour is more a result of them being kids and not a result of your hectic (fine, I’m making assumptions) parenting schedule. No parent is perfect, but sometimes you need to see other less than perfect parents to really believe it!

DON’T JUGGLE TOO MUCH: Try not to do too many things at once. Raising a child(ren) is hard enough, never mind doing it whilst trying to figure who you are and what you’re about (typically done during our teens and twenties). If you then add studying – it’s enough on one plate – don’t you think? It’s not that I believe the ‘jack of all trades, master of none’ proverb, it’s just that if you want to pass, you do need to be able to focus and the fewer distractions, the more able you will be to create a masterpiece in your studies. Creating that masterpiece will give you the leverage to do all sorts of things afterwards.

HAVING A PLAN: Make the plan and try try try to stick to it. Now, don’t feel bad if it goes awry sometimes. I always have a plan – whatever the situation. BUT, I only stick to it about 50% of the time, and still I continue to make my own little plans. Let me explain. You see, for me, the process of making a plan helps me to see all the things that I have to do. Sure, I often freak out when I see the list of ‘must-dos’ and then I pray on it. BUT, once I work out my priorities and separate them from the ‘would like to dos’, then I start having a real plan, and having that little piece of paper/napkin/bus ticket/envelope makes me feel that little bit more secure – that little bit more in control. If I fall off my plan. I don’t panic, I just make a new one. I don’t know if this is good advice really, but it’s worked for me. I am sure God has something to do with me falling off certain plans in order to get back on the right plan – his plan!

Mrs O

Useful tips and how I really got my PhD...

2011-03-28T09:44:00.001+01:00

Now, a few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how my Husband supported me in getting my PhD. In case you missed it click here.

So, anyway, I wrote a couple of guest posts for the lovely Tara over on the super fabulous blog 'theyoungmommylife' and thought that I should share them with 'my' readers too... It's weird saying 'my' readers, because I don't really know who you are....but I feel that I should and I'd love to! : )

I mean, who is the sort of woman (I'm just guessing, sorry guys!), who reads this here blog... who are you? Perhaps I'll save that for another post (!), but for now, here are some of my additional useful tips for getting through your courses/whatever obstacle life happens to be throwing at you...

Now, I’m no expert by any means on this topic, but as I’ve just been awarded my PhD, I am so pleased that I made it to the other side and feel now is the time to share (can I get a woop woop and an Amen?!). I know that if I don't write all these things down now, they'll get lost somewhere in my thoughts and they wont be so easy to refer back to. Also, you know how is, but when you're in a situation, half the time, you just muddle through... you don't reflect so much. For me, writing helps me reflect, but I didn't always have time to write as much as I would have liked/needed to.

I don’t really like giving ‘advice’ as such, because I think there are only 2 experts on any one person’s life – yourself and God. However, just because I couldn’t find any practical advice when I was studying, and whilst it’s all still very fresh in my mind and raw in my heart, I just felt that I had to share my tiny pearls of experience with other mummies/students/whoever.

Here's my first top tips…

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Remember that regardless of what happens with your studies, you’re learning. Even when things don’t go according to your timetable and it takes you a bit longer – you’re still learning life lessons. If it does take you a bit longer – so what?!?! You grew a baby in your belly and pushed it out dammit! If you can do that, you’ve already achieved something amazing. So amazing that lots of women with qualifications and great jobs would envy your position – really, it’s true, I work with them now! Everything else after that little person that you have made is a bonus, it really really is. If you have made more than one little person – hats off to you!

Girls, just remember that and you can keep smiling, playing, laughing, hoping and praying – you really can do anything you set your mind to, especially with God behind you. You just have to believe in yourself, know that you don’t have to do it alone and just take one day at a time. If you’re struggling, take a step back– it’s always better to come up for air when the water gets too deep!

Over the next day or two, I’m going to be sharing my ‘pearls’ of experience – so look out for my take on comparing yourself to other Mums, making the most of ‘team Mum’, the pitfalls of juggling too much and problem sharing tomorrow. Note that even if you're not a Mum, you might find something to take away from what I am saying. If you plan to be a Mum one day, save this info. for when it becomes relevant!!! : )

Have a blessed day!

Mrs O
x

Little Miss O says the funniest things...

2011-03-25T13:39:00.001Z

So, Mr O has recently ditched his iphone in favour of a blackberry. Now, until recently, I have never been too keen on blackberries (the fruit I love, the phone - not so much). I just didn't 'get' the blackberry hype. Besides, I have big fingers, so even sending a quick text on a blackberry is a bit of mission, never mind an email! Mr O has the blackberry torch though, so it has a touch screen and a keypad option.

It's pretty nice actually and I really enjoyed playing on it.

Me: "Awww, I want a blackberry!"

Little Miss O: "I want a blueberry!"

So cute, so innocent, so funny!

Mrs O

Interesting quote...

2011-03-22T22:49:00.000Z

I stumbled across this quote today by Robert Fulghum:

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

This says so much and makes me feel a little better when Little Miss O ignores me outright! : ) Now, to pay more attention to what she sees me do and the way that I behave...

Mrs O
x

Mani-Pedis, Marriage and Motherhood...

2011-03-20T00:49:00.000Z

This week I have done lots of mulling over of 'stuff' - stuff that I may or may not choose to blog about later. In thinking about 'stuff', I've been considering 'what will help me to be the best wife and Mummy that I can be?' It is part of my list of things to achieve after all.

That's where mani-pedis come in. Seriously, this may sound totally twisted, but day by day, I'm starting to realise that I am a pretty important person in our house. Not only am the mummy, the wife, but I'm also the first lady!

Now don't judge me - BUT, I really think this. I am the first lady.. say it with me!

: )

These two crazy kids need me at my best...they need me in my prime...at my happiest, looking my finest...smelling my sweetest, feeling my very best!

And, this means more time for MOI!

And that means that professional mani-pedis are going back on my 'non-negotiables' list - hooray! You know the list of 'no matter what happens, I'm gonna do this' list.. Well, regular mani-pedis are back on - as of a week ago! It may seem trivial in the grand scheme of things (but then again, most things do!), but when I treat myself in this small way, I feel good...and when I don't, I don't feel as good...

Don't worry, mani-pedis don't complete me (far from it!), but they are just a small something that doesn't have to be done, yet I do it anyway - and that feels good, it makes me smile and I've noticed that when I'm smiling, Mr O smiles too and Little Miss O laughs!

So, hooray for mani-pedis!

A while back, I started a bi-weekly home pamper session with face mask etc but then it slipped to once a week...and then to whenever I remembered or worse, whenever I had a breakout! As of today - they're back on! Today, I got my hair and brows 'did', have done my own mani-pedi and have just had such fun with my cousin B doing an aspirin/honey face mask followed by tea tree toner and sweet almond oil moisturiser - all made by us! My skin feels so fresh, so vibrant and I feel ready for another week of madness! I'm feeling really good - and best of all none of this broke the bank!

I'm happy to have put a few things back on my 'non-negotiables' list...all in the hope of being the best Mummy and wife that I can be... I know there's a lot more to do, but at least my hair/nails will look cute whilst I attend to the other things!

: )

What's on your list of non-negotiable 'treats' for yourself?

Mrs O
x

Collection/Dancing for Jesus!

2011-03-13T22:52:00.001Z

OK - So, I know I had sort of finished my recaps on my recent visit to Ghana - BUT... I just remembered something...

Out of the 11 days I was there, 3 of them I spent in church. On two of the occasions (same church), there was a collection. We were given a number of envelopes to put some cash in. Anyway, instead of someone walking round with a collection bag (as in the first church), the congregation filed out of their seats to donate. Live music was being played and the Holy Spirit was alive! Everyone was dressed fabulously - it was like a fashion show actually.

People jiggled out their seats and shimmied up to the front, busting their most 'church friendly but still sassy moves'....some people did a dance around the collection pots and the rest went back to their seats.

I LOVED IT and joined in.

But yesterday, whilst playing 'beat that clip' with Mr O, I was so happy to see something H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S! Check this guy out - he's in Church (in Texas I believe) and he is giving his collection and dancing for Jesus (or maybe someone else!) at the same time!

I had to share! Enjoy!

This guy certainly puts the praying and playing into PPP!

Mrs O
x

Japan!!! : (

2011-03-12T08:32:00.001Z

Some things put EVERYTHING back into perspective, and whilst a reality check is good for some, its such a shame that next week we'll push it to the back of our minds, lose that perspective and carry on as we were - talking about something else- something that probably doesnt matter - as though nothing in the world has changed...but it has. Maybe not for you but for others. I think talking about rubbish helps keep us sane, it distracts us from real talk- from saying 'what the heck is have we done to this earth, what the heck are we making for our kids?' The world is clearly not how its supposed to be- we're so out of sync with our environment, we're so wasteful, we spend too much time and energy talking about crap! If only we could spend half our time talking/updating/tweeting to actually drive change---me included.

i'm stepping up my game people, i feel that my actions do make a difference and i'm going to start exercising freedom of choice that i get in this country as a consumer..i'm going to start reading more and educating myself on this our world and seeing how i can make even a small positive difference. I'm probably going to continue talking/blogging/updating about things that in the grand scheme of life are insignificant- but remember this will only be a distraction. Politics, consumerism, unfair trading laws, corruption are all heavy topics n topics that always leave me feeling emotional and fearful that God is angry that we've messed up again and that another Noah's ark is on its way! It makes me fearful that i might not be chosen to get on the ark too!?!?! So, to save me getting too into all of that i.e to my own detriment i'll continue talking about parties, cute finds, funny things my daughter says ... I'll talk about whatever suits me at the time but what i'll also try to do is keep perspective...

Mrs O
X

Goodbye PhD, Hello Life

2011-03-10T07:26:00.003Z

... It's funny but now that i've received my doctorate, I feel like I, we even, can carry on with the rest of our lives. There are SO many things that I'd like to do or atleast try that I've wanted to do or at least try for a while...but I just haven't had the time or energy...until now. Woo hoo, I feel so ALIVE its a bit frightening! : )

I know some people write a 'bucket list' of things they want to do before they're 30 or before they have a baby etc....but my list has no time limits... I initially wrote a little wishlist for this year, but I've added to it now... From time to time, as I achieve certain goals, I'll update my list; I may even remove things from my list if I change my mind...

So, in no particular order, here are some things that I think I would like to do...at some point...

Get closer to God and make being Christ-like part of my to-do list every day without exception!

Overcome my fear of dogs

Spend more quality time with Little Miss O

Buy a brand new car (yet to be specified) and be the first to drive it away from the showroom (yes I know it'll depreciate as soon as I leave, but I don't care - its just one of the things that I'd really like to do)

Learn how to cook more African dishes

Generally expand my repertoire of cooking and become a comfortable and able hostess

Learn more about holistic therapies and/or mixology

Relearn the guitar (I didn't get very far, but I still remember the basics)

Be the best Mummy I know how to be

Be the best Wife I know how to be

Learn to play the piano

Adopt an family of orphans

Keep more in touch with the 'aunties'! Love you!!!

Accompany someone during childbirth (I know its an odd one, but its just something I'd like to do - maybe I could be a doula)

Found a 'from domestic premises' nursery (or something similar)

Spend more girly days with just my Mum and sisters

Go on holiday/mini-moon with (just) Mr O at least once a year

Visit Ghana again

Live in Ghana and/Sierra Leone for a while

Get back into my anthropology

Have at least tri-annual 'Jazz days' with my favourite most girlies

Learn how to use all the functions on my camera - then upgrade it to one with multiple lenses!

Write a book - exact topic tbc

Sleep more (laughable when you see the size of my list, eh!)

Open a charity shop abroad

Visit Sierra Leone again

Build a house in Sierra Leone and Ghana

Be invited onto Oprah(!)

Visit other African countries

Learn to speak French

Understand Ga and Twi enough to fully follow conversations without relying on the situation to guide me

Be invited to speak at a conference in a far-away land.

Travel to Asia - India, Thailand and Japan to be specific

Teach Little Miss O how to understand Krio, Ga and Twi (poor girl!)

.... and the list goes on!

What's the one thing that you always wanted to do?

Mrs O
x

Dr Mrs O: 'We' got my PhD!

2011-03-05T20:13:00.001Z

So, a week ago or so, I was awarded my PhD. I am officially now a Doctor of Philosophy. I knew four weeks beforehand that it was on its way. I was putting the final touches to my thesis - but now its official....

I'm Dr Mrs O...

That really is my official title now - Dr Mrs. As I sit here this evening, laptop on lap, my new title could not feel any more appropriate! I have sat down a few times in the last week to write this post - but its been SO hard. This PhD has been such an emotional journey - a lot of major things have happened in my life - in my families life. Oh goodness, I'm getting choked up again! Eugh!

Anyway, like I say, it's been emotional. The reason I really wanted to write something here about getting my doctorate is because writing on here has helped me get it - especially when last year I had a crazy email response to a post I sat and wrote through tears. Heck - maybe emotion is good after all! : )

I'm pleased that I decided to call this post by new title - Dr Mrs O, because to call this PhD mine, is totally unjust. 'My' success, this doctorate - well, it's anything but mine alone.

I'm totally choked as I type, 'cos I feel like a fraud. Fine, I wrote the PhD, fine the information is not falsified, but the thesis itself has my name on it. I know deep down that there should be two names on it, one name is missing.

This PhD really belongs to my now-Husband. Mr O. I say now-Husband because when I started my PhD, he wasn't my 'Husband'. He was my 'boyfriend' - who lived at the time over 100 miles away. This PhD has seen us living in 6 different places between us and in 4 different cities. Even geographically, its been hectic!

I can honestly say that without my darling Husband's support and encouragement, there really is no way I could have made it through. FACT! There really just is NO WAY and I have to give a huge shout out to J.C. for bringing him into my life. Such a blessing in disguise. Mr O has been there - through thick and thin, at 2am, at 4am and again at 7am - with coffee! He has put up with my moods, my depression when a chapter of my thesis was due but I was suffering writers block, an untidy house when I'd leave said coffee cups lying around (day -after - day). He's put up with eating take-aways (day-after-day) when neither of us had time to cook; he's pretty much took sole care of Little Miss O when I was really snowed under. And that's all at the end of the PhD - when the good Lord knows that if I was sick of hearing about my PhD, so was he! Even in the early days, he was supportive. I remember one particular pub-lunch we had when he visited for the weekend and I said to him

'I'm not sure I'm clever enough to do this PhD, maybe I should just quit - I've never actually been that clever, I just work damn hard - I'm not sure I can be bothered again?!'

My Mr O was there, just like the other Mr O (Barack Obama, that is). I remember him telling me

'Yes we can!'

- and I believed him.

My Mr O was there to wipes my tears of frustration (on innumerable occasions!), to hold me when I couldn't even speak from over-tiredness in the early hours of the morning. He was there to select and buy me a new laptop when mine was stolen just weeks before submitting my thesis.

Every step of the way. He has been there. EVERY. STEP. OF. THE. WAY!

When we were pregnant with Little Miss O, our antenatal teacher (a doula and mother of 4!) told us that being a birth partner is SO much harder than giving birth. She explained that when you're in labour - there is so much emotion and so many hormones involved that you're delirious and not fully aware of things. She said that when you're a birth partner - everything is very real. All actions are intensified, every contraction amplified and every ounce of tiredness exaggerated. I think it's the same for PhD partners. I honestly think that this entire process has been worse for my Mr O than it has been for me. Seriously - I mean that. Like I say, I experienced all the emotion - but he had to manage it when at times I couldn't and he had to live with it, well with me!

Before you start feeling too sorry for my Mr O, you should know that he bought himself a shiny new car last week in recognition of his success! And he deserves it! I'm still selecting my handbag! : )

So, to my Mr O:

Baby, I've said it before, and I'll say it again - you've been my rock. Thank you. You were right, we did it! So, in future, when I write my official name as 'Dr Mrs O', I'm going to remember that its a product of our marriage, I'm going to remember our struggle. The Bible says love does not keep a record of 'wrongs', but luckily I've not read yet that love doesn't keep a record of 'rights'.

You helping me with this PhD is one 'right' that is going to save you on many many occasions to come and one that I just will never forget - 'cos I'll see a reminder of what we have achieved in black and white every single day!

Mr O, you're my rock and you rock! Fine, I know you'll call it a 'cheesy lyric', but who cares - I'm Dr Mrs O!

We did it!

x

Little Miss O says the Funniest Things

2011-03-03T22:13:00.002Z

In the car:

Little Miss O: Mummy, what did you say when you were a baby?
Me: I said 'waaa waaa waaa!'

Little Miss O: Daddy, what did you say when you were a baby?
Mr O [following my response]: I said 'gaaa gaaa gaaa!'

Little Miss O: When I was a baby I said.... 'OOOH NAAA NAAA, WHAT'S MY NAME, OOOH NAAA NAAA, WHAT'S MY NAME!'

I think it's time to tune out of the radio and into nursery rhymes again!

Mrs O
x

You can't live abroad forever... or can you?

2011-03-01T17:50:00.001Z

or can you? Can you live abroad forever? Can you make another country your 'home'? Will it ever feel the same?

Somebody said this to me whilst in Ghana and it really got me thinking...? Moving to Ghana is something that Mr O and I have discussed before but since visiting Ghana together is a hot topic for conversation in our house. Ghana, from what I saw in just 10 days is one different place. The pace is slower, certain issues are not taken seriously and others are... I mean malaria was considered to be 'like the common cold'! Really? I don't think I could ever swing to that way of thinking? I am still afraid of mosquitoes and I imagine that I always will be If you wanna talk about respect on the other hand - this is a HUGE issue!

But health aside, I am facing the serious prospect of at least seeing how we like living in Ghana...at least for a little while, at most forever? But can I live abroad forever? Maybe I will love it, maybe I wont... what I do know though, is that to my Husband, Ghana and Ghana alone is home...where his heart is. It's home. For me on the other hand, the UK is home. This is where I feel comfortable...this is where I know how things work....this is where my heart is - or is it? When I was in Ghana, I realised just how very 'British' I am - despite looking like everyone else there (in Ghana I mean)... I was born and raised here in the UK and I am very much an Afro-British woman....and quite comfortable with this. It's just who I am. I drink cows milk in my coffee and not UHT or carnation milk! I eat bagels and yoghurt for breakfast and not waakye, spaghetti and a boiled egg! Though, I have to admit that by day two of our trip, I laughed at the idea of eating cereal for breakfast and said 'I'd prefer the kenke, tilapia and shito, please!'

So, when I call myself (if forced to label myself), Afro-British - that really is who I am. But what will Little Miss O describe herself as? Will she say she's Ghanaian? British? Sierra Leonean even? To me, it doesn't really matter what we call ourselves, but it does matter what we feel we are and where we feel we belong...where we're most comfortable...because when you don't feel comfortable and when you don't feel you belong - it can be hard.

So, back to my point 'you can't live abroad forever...' Or can you?

If Mr O can't live here forever and I can't live in Ghana forever, will we be shuttling back and forth? That is funnilty enough what I always thought I would end up doing. I just always had this feeling that I would have two places that I'd call home and would flit between them. But this is before I grew up, realised that I would have to work and not just be a lady of leisure and no responsibility...so I studied antrhopology. I figured I could just do health projects in my 'second' home, but be 'based' in the UK. But like I say, then I grew up some more, and I became a Mum and now we are considering where to continue raising our child(ren)...

Now, I am seriously thinking about this issue of living abroad... to move, or not to move, when and how... I guess this is something to add to our 5 year plan...

'can we live abroad? and for how long? Can either of us live abroad forver?'

Either way, Mr O will reach a mutual decision - it's something we've spoken about before, in fact well before we got married - so neither of us were under any illusions, but now, having travelled to Ghana, it just feels a lot more real...

What are your experiences of living away from home? Regardless of whether home is another town or country - how does it feel to live away from home...?

Mrs O
x

Breast-feeding in the US and in Ghana

2011-02-25T17:53:00.000Z

Those interested in Michelle Obama, US politics, or breastfeeding in general (I'm guessing that'll be Mum-folk) will know that Michelle Obama is calling for barriers to women nursing at work to be removed. Heck, she even took Sasha to a job interview, so that if she needed to be breastfed, she would be right there with her!

This - I love!

Skipping from the US to Ghana...but sticking with the issue of breastfeeding..there appeared to be some real benefits for Mums who take their children to work with them - on their backs I mean. I've no idea what happens with women who don't carry their kids this way.

I've not included a picture of a baby, or a breast, or even a breast-feeding woman here because I'm sure we can use our imaginations... : )

Anyway, a working Mum that I met, was sitting by the roadside selling roasted plantain. We were at a busy bank across the road and I spotted the plantain and thought 'I need some of that!'. She prepared two pieces for me, and get this - she was breastfeeding at the same time! When we went to hand me my change, her breast slipped from the baby's mouth and before giving me the change, she placed her breast straight back in her baby's mouth and continued - as though it was perfectly normal. I asked our hosts about this. I wondered if she was just a bold woman or if in fact in Ghana it was perfectly normal to do that if you work with your child. I was told

'If the child needs to eat, what should come before that?'

Now I don't know if this was the opinion of our host or if its more widespread than that BUT I know one thing - I liked that idea.

'If the child needs to eat, what should come before that?'. It has such a sweet ring to it, I wish I could bottle it and just give it out as a freebie!

It also got me thinking of how I used to cover up with a muslin cloth, or wear a special blouse, so that I could discretely breastfeed. I'm sure that even though I didn't make a song and dance about it - pretty much anyone within 2 metres of me would have known that I was breast-feeding. And, even with the cover-ups, I still wouldn't have felt comfortable to sit at the side of the road, opposite a major bank, with constant flows of traffic and just flip out my breast like that - much less with a complete stranger standing in my face.

At home, depending on who was visiting that day (and you just can't underestimate the flow of visitors when you have a baby!), I sometimes 'excused myself' to another room - all to avoid having to get my mahoosive jugglies out in front of people who I didn't think needed to be seeing my jugglies! I was worried about embarassing them! I myself wasn't ~~that~~ embarassed about the issue.

I'm not entirely sure why I was so affected by this random incident, and it's not as though I've never seen anyone breastfeed in a public place before, it's just that she was doing it as though it was THE most natural thing in the world. And you know what - it probably was one of THE most natural things in the world - and it was simply beautiful.

Mrs O

The Ghanaian Working Mum - through my eyes...

2011-02-24T23:40:00.001Z

On cruising the warm streets of Accra in our air conditioned, less than a year old car, I was extremely comfortable and could have been anywhere in the world. So, I decided to sit back and watch. I was watching EVERYTHING, like a child..asking questions, trying to understand...essentially being an undercover, unpaid, anthropologist... I was observing.

One thing that struck me was the two kinds of working Mum that I observed. They were worlds apart but living right next to one another...

The majority of working Mums that I noticed were selling various goods by the roadside or in markets. They carried on their heads everything from bags of water and meat pies, to socks and wooden artefacts. They worked enthusiastically under the scorching midday sun, often near another working Mum, chatting and laughing as they tried to sell their items.

How did I know they were working Mums?

It was easy, they had their kids strapped to their backs, like this:

Fine, these women may have been looking after other people's babies, but that would be a lot of childminders carrying kids on their backs. From a few women that I spoke to, these little kids were clearly their own. I had warm memories when I saw these woman, and reminisced about 'carrying' my dolls on my back as a young child. I used to play 'African girl' and carry a laundry basket with a few socks in it on top of my head. I'd use a scarf to tie the dolls to my back and would parade up and down the house. This was me playing 'house' I guess. It was so humbling to see grown women doing the same - except they weren't playing.

At one point, I saw a woman with a HUGE bowl on her head, and a little girl on her back. She also had 2 other smalls child walking with her. She saw the tro-tro (like a bus - except you really wouldn't want to ride it) and started to run - with the bowl balanced on her head and the little girl slipping from her back. I watched eagerly, just waiting to see if she'd catch the tro-tro, and how she'd hustle 3 kids onto what was already a jam packed ride.

She caught the tro-tro, she caught the little girl before she slipped, swung her onto the ground, handed the bowl from her head to the 'mate' (that's like the conductor) and she jumped onto the tro-tro. All three of the kids followed her.

I wondered if she was going home, or to another spot to sell or what. Like I said, I was very curious about everything I saw... : ) I wondered if what I saw was a typical occurrence? Was it an unusual thing that I saw?

Either way, I was impressed. I made a little note of the incident (the bones for this post) and I plan to keep a mental note of this, so that on days when I find being a working Mum difficult, I can remind myself that if that lady and her 3 kids could catch the tro-tro, I sure can meet the challenges that I faced too.

So what about the other type of working Mum?

The other type was the high-society working Mum, who doesn't need to bathe her child if she doesn't want to (there is home-help for this). This working Mum doesn't have to cook, clean or drive their child to nursery (again, there is home-help for this). The only time that this kind of Mum has to spend with her child is 'quality time' - seeing sites, going on trips, playing etc. All the home-related tasks are taken care of for her. All her energy goes into working and whatever spark of energy is left is for playing with her child - she doesn't have to split her non-working time between her child and chores.

I was as shocked by this experience as I was the last one... of course there are times when I would LOVE home-help! I mean, I would LOVE to have someone else plan meals and cook, so that when I get home from work, I can devote all my time to just playing with Little Miss O....I would love it if I could go to bed and the plates wash themselves...if the clothes would wash themselves. Now, call me selfish but I wouldn't want to share so much of my child with someone else. I want to be the one to kiss the boo boos, I want to be the one to read bedtime stories. In fact Mr O and I fight over who gets to collect Little Miss O from nursery and see her big grin when we arrive. These things I love.

Seeing these two completely contrasting versions of 'working motherhood' was just another example of how life can be sooooo different for people, so different for women, living just metres from one another...

Mrs O
x

Driving in Ghana - not for the faint-hearted!

2011-02-22T23:37:00.000Z

Driving in Accra and Cape Coast (the two cities I visited) was nothing like driving here in the UK or anywhere else I have ever been - including the autobahn! The rules appeared to be:

'there are rules, but not everybody knows what the rules are'
and
'if you know the rules, it doesn't really matter if you don't follow them'

At one point, as I sat nervously in the back of the car I asked 'ummm...is this a 2-lane or 3-lane road?'. The response:

'this is Ghana, the road is whatever you want it to be!'

With the same driver on a different day, I witnessed something that could either have left me in hysterical laughter or hysterical fear! My body chose laughter, but believe me, my mind did not! Through my hysterical laughter (seriously the fear manifested as uncontrollable laughter), I just had to comment - 'No way! Are you serious?! You just overtook 5 vehicles, and there are a couple of lorries amongst them! You couldn't even see the road ahead!'. The response:

'ahahaahahatehehehahahaa, we told you! This is Ghana - everything is possible!'

Goodness me! These comments were not lies! Just when I thought I had seen the worst of Ghana driving, we did an emergency stop at a level crossing. I don't understand why it called for an emergency stop?! The red lights were flashing from some distance away and the sirens were quite clear. Even I knew it was a level crossing, that a train was coming and we needed to stop. The Ghanaian pedestrians knew this, but didn't seem to care! They approached the level crossing, took a super-quick-can-barely-be-called-a-glance look at how far away the train was, and then skipped nonchalantly across the train tracks! A LEVEL CROSSING, lights flashing, sirens blarring and people crossing it!! I couldn't believe my eyes, so I just closed them.

I closed my eyes - this was serious for me. I'm the same girl who didn't even want to sleep, for fear of missing exciting events in Ghana! The truth is, I just didn't want to witness any tragedy on a level crossing on my holiday! When I opened my eyes, there was a guy on a moped who had stopped next to us. He appeared to be waiting for the train. WRONG!

He ducked his head and rode UNDERNEATH the barrier! The ironic thing is that he was wearing a helmet!

Again, go figure?!

Mrs O
x

Excess Baggage

2011-02-21T21:29:00.000Z

The title of this post could mean so many things...excess weight, excess relationship 'ish...but in this case, I am seriously talking about excess baggage - as in Africans travelling to Ghana!

I remember as a child taking relatives to the airport at crazy-o'clock, and being forced to put (heavy) items in my backpack - temporarily. These items would then be transferred to the travellers hand luggage once everything had been weighed at check-in. There was never anything dodgey involved - other than people trying to hustle a few extra kilos here and few pounds there...

Fast forward about 15 years and I'm standing in the lounge ready to leave and my Mum asks
'where is your hand luggage?'
'this is my hand luggage!' I replied cheekily, holding my large handbag, which I considered to be an appropriate size for hand luggage.
'THAT is not hand luggage, that is your handbag. You need a hand luggage and a handbag' my Mum literally barked at me! As though I was doing something wrong, like smuggling cannabis in my handbag!
'What for? I am trying to be compact!'
'Never mind, you will go like this, and when you get the airport you will see people with hand luggage... you will leave British and return as an African'

Wow - my Mum was really taking this issue seriously - and even forced us to take an extra suitcase - just in case. I mean really...would be need an entire extra suitcase?

Here's me doing my 'I'm going to Ghana' dance

We got to the airport, and can you imagine that we were in fact overweight - the cases I mean, not us (actually we probably are too, but no-one cared)! The extra suitcase came in very handy and we were sent away from the check-in desk to 'readjust' our weight. Mother really does know best, eh! We checked the fourth suitcase in and I kept my large handbag as my hand luggage.

As we queued to get on the shuttle bus to our plane, I overheard a concerned member of the BA staff saying 'yes, there's too much...everyone...' I figured from the sheer number of, what can only be described as suitcases, I had seen been paraded through duty-free, that she was talking about excess baggage!

We got on the plane and watched people struggle to lift their 'hand luggage' into the overhead lockers. I was a bit worried myself, as a bit of turbulence and one of those pieces of 'hand luggage' could turn into a serious incident! The lockers were rammed full with 'hand luggage' and when one white passenger went to store his reasonably sized piece of hand luggage in the overhead locker - there was no room. He just glared at all the passengers sitting within a 1 metre radius of his seat and then started shouting for the stewardess. At that moment I was sure he wasn't British. The culture would be to quietly complain, or to say nothing at all!

For this guy, standing amid a sea of African faces, it was on! Him against BA!

The guilty passengers started shifting in their seats. I was just watching and laughing to myself. Oh how my Mum knows her African people. Everyone, except Mr O and I and the few white people on the plane had brought a suitcase into the cabin itself! I mean everyone!

The guy was seriously annoyed, I mean, oooh he was mad! Ooooh people were looking scared - as though they thought they'd be thrown off the plane mid-flight along with their luggage.

In the end, the stewardess removed the most offensive cases from the lockers and asked for the owners! It was like some sort of assembly - everyone prayed that they did not have to admit to smuggling on a suitcase!

It was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!

The largest suitcases were removed from the cabin and then sent to join the rest of the big baggage! There was one particularly large red suitcase that the owner couldn't even lift out by herself - I mean really! If you can't even lift it, it simply is not hand luggage people!

So, in the end, all of this chaos delayed us by 30-odd minutes...sigh...

So maybe this offers some sort of explanation for the saying 'black people are always late' - go figure...

Mrs O
x

Akwaaba - a warm welcome from Ghana

2011-02-20T00:52:00.000Z

...whenever I meet anyone who happens to have met a Ghanaian before, the first thing they tell me is how welcoming, warm and friendly their friend/cousin/colleague is. More or less, this has also been my experience so far...

When we arrived at the airport, just after collecting our baggage (which is a story on its own!), we were met with the following sign:

I saw the sign, sniggered and took out my camera. Beside it, stood a policeman who said 'do you like it?' I wasn't really sure if I should say yes or no - I mean he looked very serious! I chose 'yes' and then he smiled...and I scurried on my way! It was the start of an extremely interesting trip - full of irony, laughter and unexpected surprises along the way.

It's been SUCH an amazing experience and I'm gonna write some posts about it, before the details get lost somewhere in the depths of my memory.

Ghana is one different place...I can't wait to go back - soon!

Mrs O
x

Ghana 2011

2011-02-17T17:26:00.000Z

Yesterday, we arrived back from my first time in Ghana...WHAT an experience....SO many stories, SO many laughs...SO much learnt, SO much to miss and SO much to tell .... now, to find the time to share! : )

Mrs O

Things I love about being a Mummy

2011-02-04T09:39:00.000Z

- I am learning about love on a whole new level... love changes e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g

- I am actually far less highly strung than I was before being a Mummy... I mean once you spend 30 minutes getting ready to leave the house, only to be covered in a posit after an hour, you learn not to take yourself too seriously.

- I am less judgemental of other Mums. Back in the day, I would recite the mantra of the childless --- 'I would never let my child eat McDonalds [pah, what harm did one happy meal ever do?]..I would never let my child sit and watch TV for so long..[my, isn't cbeebies educational]...basically, I love that I've realised there's always a reason for people's behaviour...you just don't know it, and you don't have to like it, but there's always a reason.

- I feel much more resourceful now, for example, I know what a 'babyccino' is and I know to ask for a sprinkle of cocoa powder on the top, AND I know that Little Miss O thinks this is hot chocolate. : )

-I've learnt the true meaning of 'everything in moderation'

- I am much more creative now. Kitchen staples like pasta, rice and flour used be for cooking...not anymore, they are for gluing, painting, mixing with food colouring and water and making playdough from!

- On a similar note, I LOVE that I get to buy glue, paint, glitter, glitter pens, collect leaves from the park and make collages with Little Miss O.

- I realise just how much I LOVE to do colouring. I mean seriously, it's usually me that suggests we do colouring and when I got Little Miss O a bumper Christmas colouring book, I just COULD NOT RESIST... in fact this book had all the family involved...it became a competition.. I LOVE THIS!

- Speaking of Family, Little Miss O has brought an entirely new level of love to mine and Mr O's relationship and every moment alone with Mr O counts for double what it did before...

- I laugh multiple times E.V.E.R.Y S.I.N.G.L.E D.A.Y. I've always been a bit of giggler, but being a Mummy has brought a new laughter to my life.. the kind of BURST OUT LOUD, ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, BEING TICKLED BY MINIATURE HANDS type of laughter, randomly burst into a fit of laughter in the middle of the street type of laughter. Basically, our house is full of noise - and we like it!

- I can be silly in public and no-one really cares and best of all, neither do I. Once, we were at the airport with Little Miss O and she was getting restless in her buggy (we had been waiting for HOURS!), so I decided to dance for her. My aunt who was with us, said 'you know when you're ready to be a Mum, when you can act like that a crazy person in public and not care!'

So, maybe that's the answer to my friend's question about being ready....

Mrs O
x

Things to consider BEFORE starting a family (Part 3 - Working Motherhood)

2011-02-01T00:17:00.000Z

Part Three of my mini-feature on 'things to consider BEFORE starting a family'...(apologies for the time gaps between these posts - Mummy duties called!). So, last time, I posted about being a Stay-at-Home Mum, and this time I thought I'd add a bit about being a Working Mum... are you ready? First off - I have got to reiterate that I think being a Stay-at-Home Mum is work in itself, but I'm talking about the kind of work that you can't take your kiddie to.

Are you ready to be a ‘Working Mum’? This is my take on working motherhood...correct me if I am wrong, or tell me if its much easier for you, cos a job-change is never out of the question! : )

From what I understand of working motherhood, if you work full-time, you'll have half a million things to do before arriving to an intray full of 'must dos'; you'll complete those ‘must dos’ whilst thinking about the other half a million things you need to do when you get home. If you work 'part-time', you'll end up doing the same work with less time and with less pay - FACT! (OK, I don't know if it's a ‘fact’, but it's my observation - and I'm mighty observant!)... : )

Onto Daycare fees.

If you do want/need to return to work within 4-5 years of your child's birth, are you prepared for daycare fees? If you are planning close age gaps (again, that's another post in itself!), are you prepared for doubling or tripling the fee cost? Do you know someone who can look after your child for you for free - like a Grandparent or someone who lives locally?

The cost of daycare was something that shock-horrored us to the core back in 2008. We were so focussed on 'the pregnancy' and what kind of 'parents' we wanted to be that we didn't really have time to think about the practicalities... naive – yes! With average full-time daycare costing between £600-£1000 per month, it's a good idea to think about these costs beforehand. Can you afford such fees? Do you want to pay such fees? I know a young mummy of 2 who said to me 'there's no point in going to work for less than double what you pay for childcare'. Of course it depends how much going to work is 'worth' to you, but that was a really good starting point for me.

Of course there are also waiting lists for the highly sought after nurseries to think about! 2 year waiting lists - what do the kids play with? Gold bars?

Anyway, these are just a few more things to think about BEFORE starting a family.

I think I'm gonna keep these posts to show Little Miss O in about 10+ years time! : )

Things to consider BEFORE starting a family (Part 2 - SAHM-ness)

2011-01-20T23:14:00.000Z

Part Two of my mini-feature on 'things to consider BEFORE starting a family'...

- work/life balance... do you or your partner work away from home a lot? If you do, is that something you would like to continue once you become parents? If not, what can you do to make plans for changing it...?

- can you afford the lifestyle that you want to have as a ‘yummy mummy’ (I’m assuming here that no-one intends to become a ‘frumpy mummy’)...

If you want to be a SAHM ('stay at home Mum' to the uninitiated) who drinks coffee, eats muffins and arranges craft sessions for your kiddies, do you have enough savings to be one income down? For how long? If the answer is no/not sure, is your partner happy to work enough hours to pay for your coffee, muffins and craft materials and other really exciting things that you get to do when you're a SAHM?! Are you happy to see your partner less so that he can pay for your bits and pieces? I guess this is related to finances and definitely something to think about BEFOREhand. I think that checking out your company's and country's rules for maternity pay/leave is a useful thing to do. Better to know in advance right, and then you can prepare for it a bit...

- are you ready to commit to being a SAHM? Just about everyone I know who doesn't have kids tells me that they want to be a SAHM. They say they want to spend as much time as possible enjoying their kid's formative years. I would have told you exactly the same thing 4 years ago. Speaking as a Mum, its (much) harder to stay home all day every day than being at work - and I'm yet to meet a Mum - SAHM or working mum who disagrees with me. Being a SAHM means being a mum, nanny, wife, daycarer, cleaner, cooker - all in one, 24/7. If you're not 100% sure that being a SAHM is for you then consider ways to keep your foot in the employment door should you decide to work (dare I say it) 'part time' or even return to work 'full-time' (blasphemy!). keep your skills up-to-date, keep in contact with your clients, visit work, know what is going on..so that if you decide you do want to go back at some point, you still have a 'place'...

I think that's all for now, but of course, as I live and learn, I will add to these musings.

I'd love to know what others' experiences of being a SAHM are, just in case next time around I decide to do just that...!

Mrs O

Things to consider BEFORE starting a family (Part 1 - Proximity to your beloved Family)

2011-01-18T23:26:00.000Z

When a dear friend, Mrs J, asked:

'when you had your first child how did it affect you financially? Were you ready?'

I sniggered to myself and thought ‘how long have you got?!’

The way I see it, you will always figure out a way to house, feed and clothe your child, but that's just the bare bones of parenting. The issue of being 'ready' is so much bigger than money. Of course she knows this, but I just had to break it down for her..and where better than here...my little space on the web?

Whilst I don't believe that there is a ‘right’ time to start a family, I do think that when you become a parent you learn to take things in your stride. God wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way, I can say that I feel that we, as grown folk, have got to have some sort of plans in place. Sure, our 'plans' may not be transformed into reality (I can testify to that!), but 'plans' help to stabilise the journey, and make us feel less anxious about what is a major series of life and lifestyle changes - parenthood.

Goodness - that is one heck of an intro. I hope you're still with me Mrs J!

Mr O and I discussed this post together and our first thing to consider is proximity to family and core support network.

Did you grow up close to your aunts, uncles, cousins? Would you want your child to have a similar or different experience of family life? How important do you think your extended family will be in your life once you have a baby(ies)? Are they accessible when you need them? If not, are you prepared for a simple night at the cinema to cost £40 upwards!?!

[3hr babysitter (£15) + movie tickets (£15) + popcorn/other overpriced movie snacks (£10) = £40]

We're lucky that we have a few members of my extended family nearby but the majority of our family live hundreds of miles away and we really do notice the distance of our family life. Let's face it, there are just some things that you'd only trust/want/ask your sibling/parents/bestest friend to do... Also, even though we're lucky to have a few members of 'my' family around, we don't have a lot of 'Mr O's' family around - and that is something to consider. There will be 4 parts to your family...do you want to be able to see them all?

I feel this especially important when you're in a mixed culture relationship - if you want your kids to experience all sides of their culture(s)/language(s) etc, they're gonna need to be hearing it on the regular. Just something to think about - not anything to freak out about!

I'm hoping that our little run-through of 'things to consider' isn't looking too bleak.. but I just found myself on a roll... and these are just things that I wish someone had told me 3 -4 years ago/ thing I wish I had taken seriously...and clearly, this is something that Mr O and I talk about a lot. So, simply talking about this post and me writing about this topic is helping us to further realign our thoughts and set out our priorities... so thanks for reading!

Still to come...

- Work/life balance!

- The cost of being a Yummy-Mummy!

- The commitment of being a SAHM?

- Working Mum - doe it mean what you think it means?

- The cost of daycare!

- Ideal sibling age gaps?!!!

In the meantime, how close (distance) are you to your family and support network? How does it affect you and your household?

Mrs O

Natural hair and professionalism

2011-01-16T10:31:00.000Z

I've just taken out 6 weeks worth of twists and have spent the last day or two looking at hair styles etc to do with my current 2 inches of afro hair. In my youtube-fest, I came across this video of a US news anchor, Rochelle Ritchie - she big chopped her hair - and ratings have gone up!

In a professional job, it's important to look 'professional' and often this mean long/slick/smooth/straight hair, possibly with a bit of wave/curl. To most of us though, when we picture a professional woman, we probably don't see a a woman in a suit with 'kinky' or 'coily' hair.

Well, Rochelle Ritchie has shown that if your own hair is suffering from constant weaves/braids/relaxers and you wish to, then yes, you can wear your hair naturally and still look professional.

I love her story.

I'm inspired.

I had to share.

Mrs O
x

These are a few of my favourite things...

2011-01-15T12:40:00.000Z

Mr O: 'here you go'

[He hands over an unexpected really cute box of pink champagne truffles from hotel chocolat]

Me: 'aww thank you baby - why did you buy me these?!'

Mr O: 'Well, they're chocolates, they're pink and they've got champagne in, so I thought you'd like them!'

Source: Hotel Chocolat

Whoever said it was the big things - lied. It's all about the teeny tiny weeny things.

Love you baby, you know me so well - 'chocolate', 'pink' and 'champagne' are three of my favourite things!!!!

Mrs O
x

Then and Now - Mrs O Update

2011-01-10T23:53:00.003Z

Before we got married, we had lots of people wishing us 'well' and saying things like 'good luck'...

Everyone aged 30 and younger was excited - in their heads it was paaarty time! Everyone who had been through it themselves gave us the 'hmmm, are these kids sure they know what they're letting themselves in for..' eyes. Some people decided to tell use exactly what we were in for. In fact, in each of the 5/6 weddings that we attended the year before our own, there was always some sort of reference to how hard marriage would be and how we should be prepared for that. I know that life isn't a bed of roses, but why was everyone trying to rain on my parade?! I was a 'bride2b', why couldn't they just be excited! Married folk we know shared (sometimes graphic) stories about their lives and how it nearly broke their marriages and we were sat thinking -

'ummm are we doing the right thing here?'

I mean, we already lived together, we had already started a family; what could marriage change for the good when people felt the need to wish us 'luck'.

'things are good now, why change them?'

Over the past 6 years we've been through some major life events already - the kind of life events that drive couples apart - married or not. I'm talking family *ish*, nosey parkers, unemployment, illness, becoming parents, moving house, death of people close to us and then there were a couple of decades of bad habits that we both had to overcome in order simply to 'get on' with each other, whilst living under the same roof...

As though our relationship had not already been tested enough, we had yet another curve-ball thrown painfully at us in the midst of our wedding planning.

It was crunch time; time to decide properly - were we really ready to be married and not just get married? *Big difference*

We discussed our problem and realised that as a couple, we wanted to take this step. Then and there, we made a pre-marital pact -

'to be together forever - regardless'.

Following our curveball, we made things 'good' again - better than before. The best yet, actually.

We worked through our *ish* because we wanted to. We never gave up on our relationship and as of last year, we have made an official, legal, and most importantly spiritual commitment to each other -

'to be together, forever - regardless'

I don't know about Mr O, but that''s the biggest promise I've ever made. I feel that this post just can't do justice to the feelings and emotion that surround of marriage, but trust me - its there.

So one year on and counting - where are we? Well, so far, marriage has not been any of those horrific things that 'marrieds' told us about. Sure, it's been a challenging year, but nothing that love couldn't conquer. I think we've already had our fair share major curve-balls anyway...and if there is more to come, I know that with Mr O by my side, we can overcome anything!

Love for me is what I imagine heroin to be like. Now that I've gotten my fix (of love), I feel that everyone else should join me...I believe that love is a beautiful thing and that everyone should fall in love...

Me? Well, I get to do it (fall in love!) over and over again with Mr O - can't get better than that!

Mrs O
x

One year and counting - Our First Anniversary

2011-01-07T23:06:00.000Z

Wow - so officially, we made it... we've been married for a year! ONE WHOLE YEAR! Plenty of people don't make it this far, I can think of at least 10 celebrity couples off the top of my head, so I am so so so thankful that my boo and I are still going strong - in fact stronger than ever. There was never any doubt, but we've still got to be thankful right! Can I get an Amen? And can I get a wooo hooo? Is it that obvious that I'm excited?!

Over the festive season, we spent a lot of time with family and friends, watched our wedding video on two separate occasions (with 2 different sets of people I should point out!)... we also received our final wedding album and a gorgeous calendar of photos (thank you rouge amour) which has now replaced a christmas wreath on our dining area wall (its funny because that wreath also featured at the top table of our wedding, so it feels lovely and symbolic to be replacing it with our personalised calendar for 2011!)

Looking at our photos and watching ourselves making promises to one another, in front of all our nearest and dearest was, well, moving really. On our actual anniversary, we found ourselves playing 'this time last year...' and kept recalling memories and sharing how we each felt on the day. It was such fun and really got us thinking, reflecting and talking.

One year on, how do I feel? How does Mr O feel? How has marriage differed from what we thought it would be like, what has changed? what hasn't changed? What have we learnt and what will be we do differently this year? Are we still newlyweds even? Hmmm...I could go on forever and I almost feel like I couldn't even begin to address these question in just one post, so I wont even try. I like writing this blog because I know I can look back at how I felt at a certain point in time and compare it to how I feel now, so I don't want to just skim over things... who knows, in a years time, I may want to look back at how I feel right now...

So, I think I'm not going to address every detail of marriage thus far in one vague post... instead, I'll probably write a few...we'll see how it flows I guess. Hopefully, well, maybe 10 years from now, I might look back and think - 'awww' or perhaps I'll think 'oh please' or maybe even, 'oh I thought I knew'...

First up has to be 'Then and Now'. I'll be working through what we thought 'marriage' would be like and how it's changed our relationship - for the better!

(an annoying loved up)
Mrs O
x

Our First Family Christmas - photo update!

2011-01-05T22:39:00.001Z

Sigh...I feel like I have so much to write about, there are countless moments, stories, memories that I could share with you all. But, because I'm not sure exactly where to start, I've decided to do a snapshot of Our Family Christmas - with a little bit of commentary! : ) We started by heading out to church, to thank God for the joyous occasion. The service reminded us that the greatest gift of all was Jesus. Amen. Luckily, Our Pastor understood that we all had turkeys in the oven and that the kids wanted to show off their pressies! : ) So, the service was only an hour long, instead of the usual 2+ hour service...so straight after, we bounced home to check that my dinner was all going to plan....

Our starter - prawns, salmon mousse, various types of tomatoes and mozzarella! : )

Our main course: Don't panic the turkey wasn't burnt. We decided to do a jerk turkey to add some extra flavour! It was DELISH complete with the usual sprouts, carrots, parsnips, potatoes, stuffing, yorkshire pudding (mmm) and cranberry sauce...

Me about to tuck into my starter!

My dashing Mr O!

Our dessert: No, it wasn't the cheeseboard but apple crumble. Unfortunately, by this point, Mr O's enthusiasm for taking pictures of food was lost somewhere between chomping a potato and a turkey thigh! So, you can only just make out the crumble on the far right of this photo (in between the biscuit tin and kitchen roll)! : )p I served this with the options of custard, whipped cream or ice-cream. Well actually, Mum and sis served themselves as I had a little too much of my ginger beer/rum/cranberry juice punch and forgot that I was hosting them! oOoops...

Panto! A few days later, Mum and I took little Miss O to see the pantomine of Sleeping Beauty at our local theatre. We weren't allowed to take pics during the show (booo!) but we did manage this sneaky picture during the interval!

Girls just wanna have fun: Three of my favourite ladies having fun together...

Little Miss O and I sipping a coffee and babyccino before trekking back home from London...

So, that was our Our Family Christmas, our first Christmas as Husband and Wife! Hooray! Sadly, the festive season is over... bleugh! But lucky for us, after Christmas came New Years and luckily for Mr O and I, after New Years came our First Anniversary... more later...

Mrs O
x

It's a new day...

2011-01-01T11:06:00.002Z

Happy new year to you all!

Here's wishing that 2011 is the happiest, healthiest, and most successful year yet. As always, may we continue to have the serenity to accept the things we cant change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference : ) Last year was somewhat of an emotional/spiritual rollercoaster for me- getting married (woop woop), finishing my PhD, starting a new job, having to redo part of my thesis, trying to find ways to balance motherhood with wifeyhood, studying and career.

Basically, I had a eureka moment and decided that this whole 'pursuit of perfection' is not something that I wanted to keep doing- so I haven't done! ; )p I also really struggled with surrendering my life to Christ and submitting to his word and Mr O's. I'm a control freak by nature, so letting go was tough! All in all, it was a positive year. I learned a lot about myself and am definitely in a good place today! : ) I have let go and am so much better off for it! Thanks be to God!

I have a great feeling about 2011, so look forward to seeing the blessings be showered upon us all xxx lots of love, hugs and light - Mr n Mrs n Little Miss O - est 02/01/10 : ) xxxx

Christmas is so nearly here....

2010-12-18T21:33:00.000Z

...The last few weeks have been 'go go go...rocked it out to Janelle Monae....got stuck in bed with flu and then fun fun fun'....but yes, I managed to finish off thestocking garland for Baby Girl in time for December 1st - hooray and Little Miss O successfully handed over her 'dum dums' to Father Christmas and we've not looked back since. It actually worked! Unfortunately, I've not had time to update my blog until now... Ooops!

But, since we've been snowed indoors all day, it seemed the perfect time for a quick pre-Christmas update...

So, Little Miss O loves her advent garland - check it out...(needless to say, I'm no photographer and yes, you can see me (and the flash) in the mirror), but I'm proud nonetheless!)

Each day Little Miss O excitedly searches in the stocking to find some chocolate christmassy character or other... I have to admit, I was really disappointed that I couldn't find any 'religious' chocolates anywhere. I mean, let's all remember the reason for the season - Jesus' birth! I mean, it's not as though I am desperate for little children to eat chocolate Jesus' the world over, but if they can make chocolates in the shape of Santa, then surely they can make it in the shape of an angel or a star at least?!' Perhaps, I should have just bought Milky Way magic stars and told her they are the stars that guided the wise men!

Anyway, when preparing her advent garland, I Sat with about 30 chocolates in front of me and I felt that it was all a bit much and so I put a mini box of raisins into the 'day 7' stocking. What a mistake that was, Baby Girl burst into tears and ran away from the raisins screaming 'that's not a treat'....OOOPS!!! I have never seen her so upset! I felt like such a Scrooge to have thought it would be a good idea to give her a 'healthy' treat in her advent calendar. So we're back to chocolate...she's happy...I'm happy! I am so pleased, however, that I spent those evenings making the stockings and I'm really looking forward to Baby Girl and hopefully her future siblings enjoying the garland year after year...

To make sure our household does know the reason for the season, we've got lots of nativity story books, a nativity garland and we even acted out the First Christmas story with my lovely nativity figurines .... all I need is a bit if straw and it'll look like the real thing! : )

In other news, Mary had her stage debut. It was her first time speaking in front of people and she delivered her one line to perfect - 'welcome to our Christmas Concert'...I couldn't help but cheer and I think all the other parents felt they should follow suit --- each child got a big cheer following their 'bit'! ahahaha She said the words so loudly and clearly and we were SO proud. Go Little Miss O!

Here's Mary in the middle with her pals Joseph and Santa 'smiling' for their Mummies!

The concert was totally funny, with a one year old 'Rudolph', who stood on one spot wiggling her nappy! And a younger sibling of a cast-member going up to the front to help himself to a mince pie - a prop in the play!! Classic and so so funny. Who knew being a parent would bring such experiences so early on. We loved it...and then treated Baby Girl to a babyccinno to celebrate her success! : )

The Christmas Concert totally marked the real child-like excitement for Mr O and I, and topped off by Christmas Parties in the evening, we are well and truly feeling the festive feeling!

The only thing I have to work on and plan is how I'm gonna funk up our Christmas Dinner. Last night, my meal was, let's just say 'uninspiring' - thank goodness the company was good!

I hope everyone else's preparations are going well...

Mrs O

Father Christmas likes mince pies, milk AND pacifiers...

2010-12-03T21:56:00.002Z

...I don't remember the exact first day that we started it, but I do know that Baby Girl has been using her 'dum dum' (aka binky/pacifier/dummy) for as long as I can remember. It started because, whilst nursing, she was sucking a lot instead of suckling, and this was painful! Instead of encouraging her to find her thumbs, we chose pacifiers, thinking that 'at least we can take it away when she is older'... if only it were that easy, eh!?!

I have to say, I have no regrets about giving her the pacifier in the first instance. It certainly helped to settle her into a routine by 6 months of age. I wasn't bothered about a routine before that, but with us both being working parents, having a child who understands when it is time to sleep, is just priceless...

Granted we could have taken dum dum away once she was settled into her 'milk-bath-story-prayer-bed' routine, but by the time she reached 2 (the age that we thought we would get rid of 'dum dum') we weren't ready to give it up...and so we didn't.

So, fast forward a bit, and we find ourselves just one day away from giving up 'dum dum' - forever! Eeek! It's clear that Mr O and I are more nervous than Little Miss O is right now! I'm not sure why we're so nervous...I mean, she has been sleeping without 'dum dum' at daycare for over a year now!!!

Being keen for our first attempt to be our last, we searched online for different methods of weaning toddlers off pacifiers. I imagine that weaning a baby off a pacifier is a totally different ball game (hence we chickened out before she turned 2!)! There are so many tricks that I wouldn't have thought of, from telling the child that the pacifier is 'broken' to dipping the pacifier in coffee(!) Another method is to give the pacifiers to a baby that we know - this wouldn't work for us, unfortunately, as Little Miss O (and I'm almost ashamed to admit it!) has been known to snatch 'dum dums' right out of other kids' mouths and into her own!!! (err!)...

So, what we have decided to do is enlist the help of Baby Girl's daycare providers to wean her off 'dum dum' at home... We did think about giving up the 'dum dums' on Christmas eve, but we want Christmas to be stress-free for the whole family and so want to start the process now....

Source: medrounds

Here's our plan:

- For the past 3 weeks, we have been telling Baby Girl that we will be visiting Father Christmas and that he will be taking her 'dum dums' away... Her keyworker at nursery has been telling her stories of other children who have given away their pacifiers in exchange for Christmas presents! : )P

- On Thursday we secretly took a super cuddly rag doll to her nursery. She is really observant, so we couldn't take it with us on the day we visit Father Christmas...just too obvious! : )

- Tomorrow, we will be going to nursery to see Father Christmas. Now, Father Christmas will be primed by the Baby Girl's keyworker and will ask Little Miss O for her 'dum dums' : ) On receipt of these 'dum dums', Father Christmas will tell Baby Girl how grown up she is and how she deserves a special reward...and then he will give her the rag doll....

- Hey presto, the 'dum dums' will have disappeared with Father Christmas...and our family will be dum dum-less! Baby girl will have a new cuddly rag doll pal to share her bed with and all will be right with the world again! : )

I am hoping...praying even, that Little Miss O is as on board with our plan as she seems to be. She did go through a phase of thinking that Father Christmas would be replacing her ordinary dums dums with a 'special dum dum'...(!) but, I ~~think~~ hope we managed to put her straight on that one...

So, tonight is the last night of dum dum and we have mixed emotions. We will probably miss out on a few nights/weeks sleep...but we're prepared for that. We may sometimes wish that dum dum was here...but mostly we're excited that Little Miss O is making this transition....to being a 'big girl'... and we're proud of ourselves already for taking the next step on the ladder to parental growth!

Fingers crossed....we will have some sleep tomorrow night......

Mrs O
x

Mr and Mrs O's First Christmas

2010-11-29T23:36:00.000Z

Around this time last year, we were preparing for our wedding...family members were landing left right and centre at Heathrow and Gatwick...and this country experienced the worst snow in a long while. Eeek! We live hundreds of miles away from our immediate family, so we planned to travel down on 24th December. Little did we know that Mother Nature had different plans. We were snowed under and could not leave the area, so around 12pm on 24th December, Mr O made an executive decision 'we were staying put!'. So, immediately Little Miss O and I went on a hunt for a turkey (!)....

'Excuse me, where are your turkeys?'
'hahahahaha, you want to buy a turkey on Christmas eve?! hahahaha'
'This is not a joke, I am getting married in a week, I am stranded away from my family who have all flown into the country for the occasion. All I need is a turkey!'
'awwww [looking embarrassed], well you can get a frozen turkey in the freezer section'
'I don't want a FROZEN turkey, they take 2 days to defrost! Tomorrow is Christmas Day!'
'Sorry love, I can't help you!'

: (

I was SO disappointed...obviously, there are no turkeys on Christmas eve BUT I wished that the shop would have reserved one especially for me, just in case...

So, we spent Christmas just Little Miss O, Mr O, Mr O's cousin and I. They all fell asleep whilst I cooked dinner and it was completely different from the Christmas that the rest of our families were having in London! I love hearing the story of how my cousins tried to convince older members of our family that Beyonce was in fact Beyonce - just with different hair and different clothes! ahahaha

So, this year, I am all set for Christmas...I am being a bit like Monica Gellar-Bing and will be trying to outdo/undo last year's Christmas!

We will be hosting 'Mr and Mrs O's First Christmas'. I am making a VERY big deal about it...about Jesus' birth, about the going to church (all of us together), about eating together and sharing gifts and having fun TOGETHER. I cannot wait!!!

Now I just have to finish off this advent calendar for baby girl, so that we can start counting down the days!

Bring on Christmas Day....

Mrs O
x

Christmas is coming...Mummy and Daddy are getting crafty...

2010-11-26T04:05:00.000Z

Christmas for me is a time for love and a time for family; a time for giving and a time for sharing; a time for joy and a time for laughter and peace.

I have always loved Christmas and just about everything that comes with it these days - the special church service, the feast, the family, the gifts(!). Both Mr O and I have really fond childhood memories of Christmas time and we're keen to create warm memories for Baby Girl too.

One thing that I always remember is the gorgeous advent calendar lovingly handmade by my elder sister during her textiles GSCE. It was over a metre long and had 24 Christmas themed pouches... there were Christmas tree pouches, present pouches, snowman pouches and the 24th of December was a Father Christmas pouch, if I remember correctly. Our parents filled each pouch with random confectionery and myself and my younger siblings took it in turns to retrieve the contents each morning and share them out. We loved our advent calendar!

Christmas is fast approaching and Little Miss O is constantly asking about her role as Mary in her nursery nativity play, talking about 'Baby Jesus' and questioning the whereabouts of 'Father Christmas'. So, Mr O and I feel that this year an extra special advent calendar is in order...

That's right, we have taken it upon ourselves to make (!) our gorgeous mini-we an advent calendar. Our brief is 'classic but cute, gender neutral, pouch style, advent calendar garland, with nativity not just 'Christmas' theme'....

Depending on the quality of the finished product and how it fares this year, we're hoping to use it year after year! Now, we're still in the making stage of our little creation but here are some of the advent calendars that have inspired us...

Source: philipsfab5

Source: liltulip

Source: JennMatthews

Source: pickles

Source: making the world cuter

Now, we can't promise that our 'version' will be as hot as these lovelies, BUT we still look forward to seeing Little Miss O's face when she sees her bespoke advent calendar garland next Wednesday morning...bring on the festive fun!

Do you remember having an advent calendar? Or is it just me?! ? : )

Mrs O

Little Miss O's stage debut!!!

2010-11-19T16:48:00.000Z

Winter is 100% my favourite season. I can almost smell it coming in the crisp autumn air...

As though I wasn't already excited enough about Christmas being right around the corner... but I've just gotten even more excited!!!

Little Miss O has been chosen to be Mary in her first EVER Nativity Play. woooooo hoooooo! Now, don't get me wrong, I would have been excited if she were a shepherd, a star, even if she were cattle, I'd have been excited! But, Little Miss O is going to be Mary - MARY! I was so proud, I couldn't contain it and made up a song on the spot:

'go Mary, go Mary, go... go Mary, go Mary, go'.

Little Miss O joined in and it was an instant cause for celebration. I'm not sure the nursery has ever seen anything like it! You see, I was NEVER chosen to be Mary, and even though I never wanted to be the centre-stage, I always knew that was the role given to the best actress in the class. That Little Miss O has been given this role at such a young age, fills me with joy!

Being me, I asked the nursery why they had chosen Little Miss O...? I mean, let's face it, she doesn't look like the Mary in the Nativity Book we bought last Christmas. They said it was because she's the most confident - in the entire nursery - even more so than the 4 year olds! To top it all off, when Little Miss O and I were talking about her stage debut, she said that she wanted to wear her hair in 'afro-style'. I can;t help but think that purchasing Mary Hoffman's Amazing Grace was one of the best buys of the year so far!

We are so so blessed to have a daughter who oozes confidence (you should see her wiggle) and actually wants to wear her hair as it grows out of her head! I know plenty of grown folk that couldn't say the same and this makes us feel like we're doing something right - hooray...!

This is a joyous time in our household, we're looking forward to our first Christmas as Husband and Wife, our First Anniversary and now we've got Little Miss O's stage debut to look forward to as well.

Bring on December!

Mrs O
x

Hallelujah!

2010-11-17T00:44:00.003Z

Wow - the past 12 hours have been go-go-go!

Firstly, work was just a comedy of terribly unfunny errors, then baby girl started wheezing at nursery, we collected her and headed straight for A&E, it appears she may have asthma! : (

Baby girl stayed home with Daddy and I had to shoot back to work (gotta love a Daddy that steps up to the plate!). I was totally worried about Little Miss O (who wouldn't be) but she was home, playing with Mr O, having fun and not really understanding what that prescription on the kitchen counter meant. Mr O convinced me that this little hiccup gave them an extra half-day of daddy-daughter bonding time, and that if I stayed I would be depriving him of it!

Hmmm, so I went back to work. I did that 'compartmentalising' thing..... you know that thing you do when you feel you just HAVE to get something done, despite a gazillion other things going on at the same time....

...anyway, so I managed to get some stuff sorted at work... headed out of work, lost my swipe-card, found my swipe-card, grabbed a packet of crisps for emergency energy, ran for the bus (I wouldn't never usually, but I wanted to be there to put Little Miss O to bed), found a spare seat and started proof-reading chapter 6 of my 10 chapter thesis (whilst eating hula hoops!)...got off the bus...popped into tesco for provisions requested by Mr O - meanwhile, filling my sister and Mum in on the days hectic events

I walked the 10 minute walk from the tesco to our home, readjusting my handbag, shopping bags, file and phone as I went! I got home.... (yey!) played with and read to Little Miss O, got her ready for bed and stayed with her till she fell asleep....returned downstairs to Mr O with a headache(! - now it was his turn to need me!), searched for paracetamol, found paracetamol, returned to lounge, Mr O asleep!. So, I dried the laundry that I put in this morning before work! inhaled my dinner (lovingly prepared by Mr and Little Miss O during daddy-daughter bonding time, watched a TV programme about a Nigerian family, sent emails to the team for tomorrow (in anticipation that I will oversleep!), finished proof-reading chapter 6, checked my blogger account...started writing this post after realising that this has been one he$% of a day!

I kind of like recording days like this - because it helps me to appreciate the straight-forward and uneventful days! If ever there was a day that I was SURE that the big JC carried me through - it is today! By reciting the serenity prayer and by JC putting the right people in the right place, at the right time - all has ended well with the day.

Hallelujah!

Mrs O
x

Serenity Prayer

2010-11-13T14:20:00.001Z

I'm sure we've all heard the short version of the serenity prayer in some form or other...

This is the prayer that I recite to myself sometimes...usually when I am scared, disappointed or facing some sort of life challenge. But this week, I am saying it, all day and every single day! This is the week that I plan to resubmit my thesis! Eeeek! As the prayer goes...

God, grant me the...

Serenity to accept things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and the

Wisdom to know the difference

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that I have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of my past ways, the

Ability to feel your love for me and my love for others and the

Strength to get up and try again even when I feel it is hopeless.

I just find this such an amazing piece to keep in my head and it has comforted many people when I've shared it with them too.

Have a lovely weekend!

Mrs O