From Housewife to Commuter Mum!

I mentioned a few weeks back that I was off work for a bit. I was in between jobs and absolutely LOVED being home with baby girl....fast forward a few weeks and I'm slap bang at the start of my new job.

I have been on the receiving end of: 

'you have child, I didn’t know that... and you commute! But, you’re so on top of things and so well put together!’

It was a back-handed compliment - I think. I just don't believe that because I’m a Mum and I do a parental ‘shift’ every day before and after work, I have a license to resemble a disheveled wreck! Not so - it doesn’t have to be that way, surely?!

I’m no expert on yummy mummy-ness (by a loooong stretch) but I do have a few pearls that I can pass on that help me keep the balls in the air! Lord knows I have struggled with this before - so this time around, I was determined to have a very organised approach..

First set of tips are to do with what I affectionately call ‘The Mummy Shift’..here’s what I did:

The Mummy Shift

- found great daycare for baby girl and started phasing her back into full-time nursery 4 weeks prior to me starting work. This means that we don't have any 'clingyness' when I have to run and jump in the car and she is excited to go there everyday. This makes leaving her for the day much much easier on me. Little Miss O is not phased at all by being a full-timer again and tells me herself ' I like 'girls time', but I prefer nursery' - can you spell s.o.c.i.a.l.i.t.e - and which 3 year old do you know that says 'prefer'. This my child cracks me up! Love her.

- also organised fantastic and reliable back-up daycare and after-daycare emergency relief for those inevitable times when I'm either stuck in the office or there's a problem on the road etc... you can just never have enough back-up! The day I am stuck is not the day I want to start stressing about my child's care! I have a childminder who lives 300m from the nursery and is on all call 5 days a week. I also have a standby no2 who lives 400m from the nursery. You just can’t buy peace of mind.

- cook for the week on Sunday. My Mum used to do this on Saturdays and this is something that I did during my last job and have continued so far. It's important to me that we eat healthy, balanced meals (well at least more often than not!), and I like cooking. So, I pop a dish or two in the freezer and one in the fridge and that lasts fine for Monday - Thursday. Literally, a couple of minutes to warm up the food, perhaps boil potatoes/pasta and within 15 minutes of getting home, dinner is served on the table. Et Voila! Friday is free for all in our house - take-away, dinner out when £££ permits, left-overs whatever - at that point, the weekend is in sight and I become a different, far less organised version of myself! Eat whatever, stay up late - whatever. In fact, I actively encourage Little Miss O to stay up and play on Friday and Saturday nights; this means lie ins for us in the morning!

- night duty: Pack all bags at night and leave EVERYTHING by the door - but not blocking a escape route in case of fire etc!! No more running around like a nutter looking for my file/baby girls scarf etc in the morning.. I just collect everything that is by the door and we’re off.

So far so good... things are falling into line...it’s happy days. Baby girl and I are up and ready and we usually get snuggle/TV/story/play time before we head out for nursery and the same again in the evening after dinner...

Next up ‘The London Commute!’

Dream big...

My soundtrack for the week.... 

Why dream big?

Well, as a teenager, I used to fantasize - about my future life.... I used to think about what my home would be like, what my Husband would be like...what it would be like to be a Mum...what kind of job I would have and so on....

But now, when I think about the future, our future, I am thinking about such bigger things...I sometimes doubt myself and I can hear the little red guy on my shoulder saying

'hey, you're just you, why are you dreaming so big'

Thankfully, there's a little guy in white on the other shoulder saying

'why ever not! you are you and that is exactly why you should be dreaming big'

Sure, I still want the huge house where all my family can feast at Christmas, where Little Miss O could decide to get married if she wants to (can you tell I grew up watching Father of the Bride) ...but now I want more.

Despite feeling really content with my life at the moment (and I really am), I find myself feeling HUNGRY. HUNGRY, THIRSTY and constantly wanting to achieve more. Perhaps its because I'm a project-oriented person and so now that my PhD is done and collecting dust, I'm looking for a new challenge. Something to sink my teeth into and to run with...

The ideas have been brimming for a while now, but now the time has come...

Mr O and I are cooking up a little project - together. I'm so excited by it and so is he! We motivate each other and it's great to have the support that he offers me on a daily basis. He is actually my rock!

Every time I think about our plans and where they could take us, a cheesy grin just takes over my face. I am dreaming big again (!), and I feel that no obstacle in our lives can or should stand in the way. We have the big J.C on our side and are praying for our venture and for our family.

I think that every person is here to do something - whatever it is, we're all here for a reason. We are all blessed with different talents and its our duty, surely, to figure out what our passion and talents are and how we can use them for good. Even just by smiling at a stranger or telling someone that you like the way they are wearing their hair...we're showering blessings onto others, we're making someone else's day brighter and the effects are cumulative - trust me on this guys...

I am generally a smiley person (maybe annoyingly so) and I'm told that I have an 'infectious humour' about me. I decided to take this as a compliment! : )P But, other than people being happy to be around me (most of the time), I want to do more...

I want to serve more...

I want to achieve more...

I want to be more...

I want to be the best possible version of myself that I can be. Darn it, I want our family to be the best possible version of ourselves that we can be!

Am I asking too much? Am I egotistic? A narcissist even? Personally, I don't think so...

I suppose today,  I am realising that actually Mr O and I are on a great path.

We're so so blessed and have a lot going for us - we're still so young and have the whole of our lives ahead of us...

So, here's to a new week - of dreaming BIG! For all of us to dream big...

Someone once challenged me with these questions: 


What do you dream of achieving?
What do you love doing?
What are you good at?
and
What are you doing to make your dreams a reality?

 If you're reading this, I challenge you to do the same....share your visions for yourself in the comments box and I'll add this to my prayer list... (go on, it can't hurt right?!)

Have a great week - dreaming big and fabulous things!

Mrs O
x

Things to consider BEFORE starting a family (Part 2 - SAHM-ness)

Part Two of my mini-feature on 'things to consider BEFORE starting a family'... 

- work/life balance... do you or your partner work away from home a lot? If you do, is that something you would like to continue once you become parents? If not, what can you do to make plans for changing it...?

- can you afford the lifestyle that you want to have as a ‘yummy mummy’ (I’m assuming here that no-one intends to become a ‘frumpy mummy’)...

If you want to be a SAHM ('stay at home Mum' to the uninitiated) who drinks coffee, eats muffins and arranges craft sessions for your kiddies, do you have enough savings to be one income down? For how long? If the answer is no/not sure, is your partner happy to work enough hours to pay for your coffee, muffins and craft materials and other really exciting things that you get to do when you're a SAHM?!  Are you happy to see your partner less so that he can pay for your bits and pieces? I guess this is related to finances and definitely something to think about BEFOREhand. I think that checking out your company's and country's rules for maternity pay/leave is a useful thing to do. Better to know in advance right, and then you can prepare for it a bit... 

- are you ready to commit to being a SAHM? Just about everyone I know who doesn't have kids tells me that they want to be a SAHM. They say they want to spend as much time as possible enjoying their kid's formative years. I would have told you exactly the same thing 4 years ago. Speaking as a Mum, its  (much) harder to stay home all day every day than being at work - and I'm yet to meet a Mum - SAHM or working mum who disagrees with me. Being a SAHM means being a mum, nanny, wife, daycarer, cleaner, cooker - all in one, 24/7. If you're not 100% sure that being a SAHM is for you then consider ways to keep your foot in the employment door should you decide to work (dare I say it) 'part time' or even return to work 'full-time' (blasphemy!). keep your skills up-to-date, keep in contact with your clients, visit work, know what is going on..so that if you decide you do want to go back at some point, you still have a 'place'...

I think that's all for now, but of course, as I live and learn, I will add to these musings.

I'd love to know what others' experiences of being a SAHM are, just in case next time around I decide to do just that...!

Mrs O

x