Addiction: For the love of Palmer's cocoa butter!

I am an addict - there I said it. And this is my poison... cocoa!

More than chocolate, I absolutely love cocoa butter, I won't even lie. I should tell you actually, I was waaaay ahead of Vaseline and could often found in the P.E. changing rooms at school, mixing lumps of cocoa butter into my little vaseline pot. Purleese! Y I've been slapping that stuff onto my lips for yonks - and Mr O can testify that the results speak for themselves. 

Now, I did try mixing up a cocoa butter moisturiser once. That was an interesting experience. I bought a couple of blocks of pure, raw cocoa butter straight from Kaneshie market in Accra, Ghana....but it just took so  long to melt that I gave up and just used it in its natural state. When I applied it straight to my skin, I found that it was greasy, a bit impractical to carry round and I wasn't really feeling that 'shiny' look. If you've had a better experience with cocoa butter, let me know how you used it please!

I had never set eyes on cocoa before, despite 10 years of using it on my skin and about 20 years of eating it!  

I was eager to bring one back home to the UK to show Little Miss O where her special ezcema cream came from. (That's right, only cocoa butter gave her relief from the itch!)...one of the many ironies of 'medicine'!

Since the big chop in 2009, I've generally tried to keep my use of store bought products to a minimum. I've just become more aware of my hair and skin and what I put on it. I still use some store bought products (it can be hard not to sometimes) but I try to choose paraben-free products or just to mix up my own. 

When I don't mix my own, I'm very very choosy. In fact, I'm the girl that takes an hour in the shop reading all the labels before deciding that none of the products is good enough to touch my skin...or Little Miss O's skin for that matter and you know what, there is only one brand of cocoa butter that I let touch my skin...it's paraben free and I just have to tell you all about it, just in case you've been living under a rock for a while and are still using what I affectionately term an 'imposter' (or 'bootleg') version?!!!?

But despite this experience, I still love and use cocoa butter - at least 4 times a day I should add! Like I said, I'm addicted. I always have been. Now I've discovered that my fave brand has lots of new products in their range... 

I feel a 'Cocoa butter bust cream' review post brewing... or perhaps Mr O can write a guest post reviewing their 'man friendly' products...

Oh the possibilities...

M

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Hair Inspiration: For Mothers and Daughters

I'm not sure where I stumbled across this photo but I loved it enough to save it... It makes me think of Little Miss O and I in 2 years perhaps... Now that would be some impressive hair growth on my part... better get working on it!

Henna - for next time....

So, I started doing some 'research' into henna as a hair dye.

I came across a 3-part blog session on the natural haven. I really love this blog because it explains scientific concepts about hair in such a clear and concise way. I'm a 'scientist'/'researcher' by day and so I am used to having to evidence everything I do, say or even think... so when it comes to my hair, I find it useful to look at evidence. I generally try a product (homemade or store bought) 3 times. I figure that if you try it once, you could get good results down to chance, a second good result could just be a coincidence...but if the same thing works 3 times, then I trust it that little bit more... :  ) I also try not to change or test more than one product at a time - if I applied 5 different things to my hair each day, how could I expect to see a positive change in the condition of my hair...and if I did, how could I know which one it was...

Because of this sort of hair confusion, I stick to one thing at a time...except when the closet artist in me comes out and then I ruin all my hard work and put some random concoction on my hair just because it smells nice!!!

Here's the links to the posts:

How henna works
Myths and Facts about henna
Cautionary words about henna!

The main thing that I'm taking away from this article is that if I do use henna are that:

1) I shouldn't be complacent about conditioning simply because its a natural dye rather. I suppose, I will just have to try henna and see how my hair feels afterwards in comparison to when I use ammonia-based hair dyes...

2) Henna contains Lawson that can mutate cells - ow, I'm not sure of all the effects of the product that I currently use, but the idea of cell mutation doesn't fill me with confidence! Then again has anyone actually done a proper scientific study to see what the real effects of henna are... (more research I think!)

Mrs O
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How to get rid of hair dye from your hands!

Ok, so on Tuesday I mentioned that I needed to sort out my 'silvers' and so as usual I bought a pack of hair dye from a well-known brand and whilst a friend was over, I started to dye my hair. I do not know what possessed me, but I didn't use gloves!!! : ( By the time I realised, it was too late. Why the friend didn't advise me is a mystery to both of us - it was only when Mr O walked in and asked what I was doing did I take note of the fact that my hands were changing colour!

Over 12 hours later, my hands are still a different shade of black compared with 24 hours ago! A classic school girl error you might say. Last night, I googled 'how to get rid of hair dye from your hands' and was met with a really unhelpful answer on Yahoo which was 'use gloves'... um DOH! If I had used gloves then I wouldn't be googling this... sigh...

Anyway, I tried a series of home 'remedies' and there is definitely a noticeable improvement, but since the initial staining was so bad, this doesnt really say a lot! Just in case anyone ever googles the same thing again, here is a little list of things that in combination/alone helped to alleviate my hair-dye stained hands....

* Note that adding more hair dye to try to 'dissolve' the stain did not work for me!


- Lemon juice (the freshly squeezed kind)
- Bicarb of soda
- Hand wash
- Washing up liquid
- Whitening toothpaste
- Shampoo
- Nail polish remover
- Alcohol hand cleansing gel
- Vanish stain removing spray!
- Window cleaner!!!!

** Also note that I did NOT soak my hands in undiluted bleach as suggested by source! (can you imagine explaining that one to your Dr!)

I tried to use natural household items as far as possible but you can just imagine the random array of chemicals that my hands are likely still covered in - not just from the hair-dye itself, but also from my 'treatments!'...

*** Finally note that I tried all these 'treatments' in the order listed above, you can see the desperation!

This experience makes my argument for finding (or darn it even making) a natural hair dye even more convincing. Seriously, my hands are still covered in ammonia. Yuck! They don't stink or anything but this cannot be good! Sigh, I just want to stop putting rubbish on my body - completely. I imagine that henna could still stain my hands, but in some way I would find this somewhat more acceptable.... 

Why can't I be one of those hippified people who wears bright colours and jewellery that jingles as I skip barefoot (yes, skip!) across white sands and who rides a bicycle with a hand-woven basket - all whilst casually carrying an acoustic guitar across my shoulder and sipping on carrot and ginger juice.

Sure, I realise its a massive generalisation, but really - I'd love that... to be/become that soul....

Maybe I just want to be India Arie herself?!?!
 
I bet she wouldn't forget to wear gloves when dying her hair... in fact, I bet she just goes to the salon...or better, I bet she doesn't even have any silvers : )p

Anyway, lesson learnt: Wear gloves when dying hair at home or just stop being a sissy and go the salon! Until the next time though, I'm going to start finding out a bit more about natural hair dyes... I have 6 weeks to come up with a natural, more hair, and apparently, hand- friendly, solution!

Mrs O
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Natural hair and professionalism

I've just taken out 6 weeks worth of twists and have spent the last day or two looking at hair styles etc to do with my current 2 inches of afro hair. In my youtube-fest, I came across this video of a US news anchor, Rochelle Ritchie - she big chopped her hair - and ratings have gone up!

In a professional job, it's important to look 'professional' and often this mean long/slick/smooth/straight hair, possibly with a bit of wave/curl. To most of us though, when we picture a professional woman, we probably don't see a a woman in a suit with 'kinky' or 'coily' hair.

Well, Rochelle Ritchie has shown that if your own hair is suffering from constant weaves/braids/relaxers and you wish to, then yes, you can wear your hair naturally and still look professional. 

I love her story. 

I'm inspired. 

I had to share.

Mrs O
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My new favourite song! 'I love my hair....'

...I just stumbled across this video and I HAD to share!



I can't wait to share it with Little Miss O tomorrow - what a way to kick off her day!
'I love my hair...I really really love my haaaaiiiir!'

Hooray for Sesame Street - it's almost worth getting SKY for! : )p

Loving you, loving me...

The other day I remarked on how nice and healthy a friend's relaxed hair looked! I was surprised at myself and so thought I'd 'write it out' - you know like 'talk it out' or 'cry it out' - well I like to 'write it out'. I was so confused...I thought I was 'natural' now, yet, I have no problem with other hair types or styles.

I've been so focused on how I feel about my own natural hair journey, I've never really thought about how I feel about other people's hair. I had a real think about this issue over the weekend (I like to think about all sorts of things, usually whilst driving!)... and I came to the conclusion:

'Each to their own' 

I can appreciate a relaxed girl's beauty as much as a weaved or natural girl's beauty...but I've simply made a personal choice not to use the usual relaxer brands on my own or our daughter's hair. The brazilian keratin treatment (which straightens hair without harmful chemicals) really interests me though, so does that make me a traitor to the whole 'natural hair movement'? Do I have to unsubscribe from 'naturally sexy' because I think 'unnatural girls' can be sexy too? If I wear braids, am I any less 'natural'? If I dye my afro hair blonde, does that make me any less 'natural'? The answers for me are:

'It doesn't matter' and 'who even cares!'

If I look good and I feel good and I'm not hurting anyone - why does it even matter? So what if one day I feel like wearing extensions and the next I feel like letting my TWA out...I'm still me, right? I've realised my problem with my current twists isn't the twists themselves, but the twister... enough said!

The idea of being made over is great and its fun to see yourself or someone else transformed by these so called 'beautifiers', it's just important to know that you're not any less beautiful when you don't have that stuff on - you're just different... I genuinely feel sorry for girls who feel the need to hide indoors in between hairstyles, simply to avoid revealing their real hair. We all have at least one friend who refuses to leave the house until she's got a new weave in! eeesh! I have a lot of younger women in my life (some like this), and I hope they know that they shouldn't feel any less beautiful because they don't 'perfect' all the time! Let's face it even A-list celebs don't look like that every day - and why should they? Nearly all celebs are enhanced in some way - nipped, tucked, plucked,cinched, bleached, weaved - I could go on... and that's before make-up, wardrobe, photographers and airbrushers have worked their magic on them. 

 

Both images from fanpop.

I suppose some Black women are outraged by terms like 'good hair' and 'nappy' but when you think about it, these days, everyone wants to be like everyone else anyway and there are lots of words outside of hair that are used in a derogatory way! Have you ever heard anyone referred to as 'pasty' or 'blick' - surely it's the same thing? Whether it's hair, skin, face or hips! I guess its just a by-product of everyone moving around, and actually meeting people of other shapes, sizes and colours... Some people have laser hair removal, some people want bigger lips, bums, breasts - some even want bigger eyelid folds! Some people want to be darker and some people want to be lighter and some  want to change the texture and length of their hair. So, for me 'good hair' is just an example of our obsession with what 'beauty' means. 

I've been loved up with 'me' and (Mr O) for years now, but seriously, it's only this weekend that I've really thought about what this means!!! Now, call me slow, but I've realised, literally overnight, that whilst beauty is fun and fabulous, it's also about being true to oneself...knowing oneself, educating oneself and feeling comfortable in oneself... essentially loving oneself as much as we love our kids, our Mums, and as much as God loves us! 

I really hope to raise a daughter who is completely and utterly IN LOVE with the masterpiece that God has created in her - not in an arrogant way, but in such a way that thoughtless phrase such as 'good hair' could ever shake her! This has been on my agenda for some time now but it's TOTALLY going to be raised to the top of my agenda this week month year!

Mrs O
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