I miss my hair...

Yesterday I posted about letter writing and today I'm posting about something completely different! Hair! 

Whilst I love the versatility of my twists, on some level when I look in the mirror, I'm still not so sure who is looking back at me! I am such a hair schizophrenic - I just can't make up my mind...natural - extensions - braids - weaves etc . I see no real problem with me changing my hair style frequently, but today I felt the need to re-engage with my initial reasons for shaving my head and see how they compare to how I feel now.

This was me a year ago, straight after the BIG CHOP:

So why did I start this journey in the first place?

- The main reason was for our daughter. I decided that I would not relax her hair ever! She has beautiful, long, thick and curly hair - she gets this from her Father! I feel that relaxed hair is a commitment and I want her to decide to make it for herself - if she chooses to later in life. She was only tiny, but I feel really strongly about it - I also feel strongly about leading by example and couldn't bear to tell her that she can't relax her hair even though I do. So the only solution was to - stop relaxing my hair. I guess I could've waited until the conversation came up (I predict circa 2016), but I also had my own reasons for not relaxing my hair. Transitioning (braiding my hair until it grew out) was never an option - I don't have that kind of patience!


The personal (i.e not about setting an example) reasons were:

- I hated the burn of relaxer! My scalp is sensitive and it was always a horrible process for me. The sad thing is that I'd always leave it on, gritting my teeth through the pain - because I wanted the hair to gain the full benefits of the relaxer. It's ironic really because whilst getting the benefits of relaxer, my hair was losing all its natural properties and becoming weaker and weaker.

- I was freaked out one day when I relaxed my own hair without gloves, as when I had finished, my nail polish had come off - ummm - scary!

-  I hated the feel of my hair immediately after relaxing - it was lank and thin looking and lacking in volume. Of course that was all fixed by blow drying and my old friend 'Luster's pink lotion - but we've since fallen out'.

- I used to look at girls with their natural hair texture and feel dare I say 'envious'. I used to wish that I could be brave enough to sing- I am not my hair..and mean it! Hair is such a big deal in the black community - it's frightening! Strangely now I feel that I kind of am my hair - its an expression of who I am...it's just a question of what I want to say with it and lately that changes on a daily basis lol

...it was time for a change and I took the plunge - less than a year before our wedding - I did the BC! I was fascinated and inspired by the various natural hair communities online and decided enough was enough. I had done the talking 'I want to', 'I wish I could' yadadada and then one evening I just took out my weave, washed my hair and asked Mr O to cut it  - and he did! The next day I went to his barber shop and they fixed it up for me - and there I was, at the start of my hair journey...

..and here I am now with twists. I think for me the solution is to get more creative with my natural hair and when I do get bored - I should simply get a weave - fine I still have to waste time seeking out the perfect hair, but my hairdresser does it in 3 hours, which is far more suited to my aversion to a numb bum! 


For now, I will make the most of these overpriced twists before taking them out - no doubt as soon as I do, I'll be wishing I had them back in again!!! 

The irony eh?!

Mrs O

x