Here today, gone tomorrow...

So Little Miss O turned two last week - TWO! Time flies! The day after her birthday, I became a God-Mummy for the first time. How exciting. I feel so privileged to have been 'chosen' ... I nominated myself to be Mum, but I was nominated by someone else (whom I respect),  to be a God-Mummy! It's such an honour and I met her for the first time yesterday.

She was SO tiny and so sweet! Newborns give me a really strange feeling...I kind of fear if I'm honest.. they're so new, so innocent, so dependent... they can't do ANYTHING, they can't even hold up their own heads...yet they're so perfect. As I watched my own daughter cradling my God-daughter, I had a very strange feeling. I just couldn't believe that Little Miss O had ever been so small... so new, so innocent and so dependent.. I know she must have been a newborn at some stage...and they were roughly the same weight but I really cannot remember looking after such a small person.

It made me realise just how quickly children grow up. I took Little Miss O to nursery today and she said 'Mummy go home now!' ...she wanted to left alone, with her friends, to do her 'thing'...she wasn't new, was less knowledgeable and certainly is less and less dependent on me by the day...

I suppose my feelings at the moment are - enjoy 'now', enjoy today because in 24 hours it will be tomorrow and you just can't get today back again...gosh, now that is food for thought!

Mrs O
x

Project Wedding or Project 'What?'..

You’re supposed to be the captain of Project W, but before you can make a plan, you need to know what you’re doing. Yes, you know you’re getting married, and yes that means you’re planning a wedding but how?

You haven’t done it before, people are bombarding you with questions, ‘are you having roses or tulips’ and you haven’t even set a date... ‘are you having your hair up or down?’ – You don’t know!!! All you know is that you want your wedding to be yours, unique and chic, but what does that mean?

So, being internet-savvy, you googled ‘unique wedding’ and it came back with a gazillion images and blogs,  and you’re sure you’ve seen them all already on The Knot/Martha Stewart/Style Me Pretty, so they can’t be that unique can they.

You’re still confused. You googled ‘latest wedding trends’, just to get ahead of the pack, but alas you saw that someone else has ‘done’ a ferrero rocher tower at their wedding! Whatever will you do?! You can’t have cupcakes because your sister had them 5 years ago, you can’t make your own biscuits because embarrassingly, you can’t bake! Ok, so how will you make your wedding 'unique' ?!

I too was on this nonsense spiral, until I realised (just in the nick of time) that it’s not about making your wedding unique but it’s about personalising it and making it yours... not so that every guests will say ‘wow, I haven’t seen that before’, but so that they can say ‘that is SO Mr and Mrs O (replace as appropriate), how fabulous’.. right? 

I suppose the 'uniqueness' of your day depends on how unique you really are... are you bit quirky, a bit of a fashionista or a simple conventional gal?! There is no right answer!

Just for a few moments, back away from your wedding tv/big fat fabulous addiction, log out of the wedding forum, where you are called ‘excitedb2b’ and step away from CosmoBride... heed this little bit of advice...

GET A BRIEF...GET A GOAL and figure out just WHAT it is that you’re doing?

In my humble opinion, planning a wedding is just like ‘finding your beau’, it wont work until you know yourself. Your likes, your dislikes, your must haves, your ‘could survive without its’... you know what I mean.

I have a small exercise up my sleeve that Mr O and I used during our wedding planning. I’ve also recommended it to a few couples and have had positive feedback. 

Here it is:

The first step is to sit down and think about what your wedding means to you and your beau. I’d recommend sitting in separate corners of the room and answering the following (no conferring):

If I asked you to sum up your beau’s personality in 3 words, what would they be?

Tell me 3 interesting things about your beau – any interesting hobbies/achievements/goals?

Tell me 3 things that you love doing with your beau.

Tell me about the best wedding you have ever been to, using the following categories:

Ceremony:

Venue:

Food:

Atmosphere:

Music:

Highlight:

I would have changed...:

Imagine you are a guest at your own wedding and the next day, a friend says ‘I’m just about to get on the tube, but quickly, how was the wedding – 3 words go...’ What would you say:

This is essentially what we did, and the rest just seemed to flow...we worked out what we wanted individually and looked at where it matched up, and we came to some fabulous decisions (even if I do say so myself)! Our wedding was definitely not to everybody’s taste, but for us it was perfect. In case you’re curious, our words were ‘friends’, ‘family’, and ‘fun’!

Get a brief, get a goal and then you can get a plan. Sure, the goal may change as you go along, but it’s better to have one in the first place! : ) If things do change, it’s all part of the fun!

Let me know how you get on with the exercise! Would love to hear if it is useful!

Mrs O

x

academimum

academimum? what... an academic mum!


a phd student who is a mum is pretty much unheard of... but why... because:


(mum x phd student) = (stress at home x stress at work) = (stressed by day x stressed by night) = recipe for disaster!


By the sheer grace of God, I submitted my PhD today...yes I am crazy to do this and raise a happy toddler, but so far, it appears that I'm pulling it off...I'm very very lucky!


wooo hooo! I've been reflecting today on just how darn hard it has been to juggle these two demands...on top of being a wife and keeping our home reasonably presentable! It really helped that I have a great support network, a great (though sometimes annoying boss), an amazing set of girlfriends, an encouraging family and an ever-helpful, kind and patient Husband. Nonetheless, the past two years have been mighty hard.


A friend summed it well when he said " If you have your fingers in so many pies, how will you find time to eat any of them?" He wasn't actually talking to me, but he has a really good point. Is it not better to concentrate on one or two things and do them well, with all your heart and soul, instead of doing more things, but less well? 


Funnily, even though I've just submitted my PhD, I'm already thinking about my next project and I've decided that they are going to be 100% Mr O and Little Miss O - ONLY! Any other wild ideas I have will just have to remain hobbies. These very special people deserve my attention and they're going to get it.


It's all about 2010!


x


Mrs O

I've come so far...I'm tired!

Sometimes in life, we focus on a certain project...and we put our all into it and we have come so far that we feel we have nothing else to give, that we don't have the energy to get over that last hurdle. We feel defeated, and it's at this point where we start to doubt ourselves, doubt our motives, doubt our capabilities and ask ourselves questions like -
'Is it worth it?', 'Can I really be bothered?', 'So what if I don't do this...?'... even worse, we persuade ourselves to do a half-hearted job because we cant be bothered! Not good!

Given all the work we've put in, surely that is even more reason to jump *high* and *hard* over that last hurdle... surely otherwise all the blood, sweat and tears, wont be worth a thing...and then we'd feel really silly, right?!

It's at these times, when we just DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY or even the will to complete (or to complete well), that we need to pray! I know I did last night!!! Of course we should always be praying and praising BUT is it not when we are weak that God makes us strong?

Surely then, today, when I am beyonnnnd exhausted, this is the day to swallow my pride (stupid pride!) and say 'God - I can't do this without your help...please guide me, and give me strength. Please keep my eyes open, my mind open, my thoughts sharp and renew my energy. Help me to do the VERY best that I can do, in Your name.'

This is my prayer for the week...

Philippians 4:6-7


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

It also goes out to a few other 'to remain nameless' folk, who I know are feeling the same way today and also to all those who are feeling this way, but who I don't know! : )

Let's hang in there, whatever our 'projects' might be...we can do it!!!

To change or not to change?

So, in my culture, getting married is synonymous with leaving my family and heading to my Husbands.... hmmmm... I like to think that I am still very much part of my original family, as much as I am part of my new family. But, the issue of changing my name is one that has me stumped.


For me, I am very excited about being Mrs O. I changed my facebook name! What more proof do you need? I haven't however changed any of my official documents... but why not? I just can't bring myself to do it... I guess, I'm scared. If I change from Miss W, to Mrs O...does that mean that Miss W no longer exists? Does that mean I am no longer part of the W clan? Or does it mean that my name has changed but I am still me? So many questions?
So my choices are:


Keep the 'Maiden' name? 
Mrs W? Doesn't quite sound right - that's my Mum's name!


Hyphenation? 
Mrs W-O? That doesn't feel right either, I want to have the same surname as my children, which would make me Mrs O.


Amalgamation?
Mrs WO? Ok that is just weird to me? That's like creating a new identity all together... it would be great if Mr O was going to change it too, but he isn't. He is Mr O through and through!


So, I have decided to keep my surname, but have it officially as my third middle name. That way, I am officially Mrs O, everyone can call me Mrs O...I get the perks of being Mrs O, but I also get to use Mrs W O when I feel like it. This is especially important to me, as I want to retain my surname for work purposes. I am (by the sheer grace of God) due to qualify as a Dr this year (not a medical one, I'll be like Ross from friends!).. and after seeing me through about 20 years education, I feel I owe it to my parents.


There we have it....my official title will be Dr Mrs W O! I kind of like that...


What will you be doing with your name post-nuptials?


Mrs O!