A Wife's Responsibilities in Marriage

In my last post, I mentioned that I am reading 'The Strong Willed Wife' by Dr Debbie Cherry. It's all about using your personality to honour God and your Husband and it's centred on the idea of being submissive. 


Alas, I reached Chapter 8 'Rights and Responsibilities'. I am really liking this chapter in particular, as it sort of synthesises the guidance from the various books of the Bible on what Mr O and I should be doing in our marriage. My focus for the moment is on what I should be doing, after all, I want to be the best wife that I can be. That is what he deserves. So, according to Debbie's interpretation of the Bible, wives' responsibilities are:


To be a 'help meet' to your Husband
According to the first Bible story that we all know, Eve was created to be with Adam and fill some sort of gap. I like to think it means, that without me, Mr O could only go so far. Wink*wink. As the saying goes, behind every successful man is a woman! So, I am cool with the first aspect of my responsibilities, to support and encourage Mr O, and I am actually OK with him and his needs coming ahead of my own. 


To show respect to your Husband
The second responsibility unique to wives is showing respect. Of course I respect Mr O. How could I marry a man that I didn't respect? But the point of my duty as a 'wife' is to show him that respect - 24/7 - even when I do trip over the (painful) Birkenstocks that he leaves in unsuspecting corners of our home! sigh...
Regardless of the situation, I should show him the utmost respect. Debbie highlights how sometimes we give our best to the outside world and our husbands get the leftovers. We are always so much more kind and patient with strangers. It is very easy to do this, but it is just not OK. Mr O is my Husband, and if anyone should be getting the best of everything I have to offer - my time, energy, love and enthusiasm, it should be him, right? 
After reading this chapter, I will certainly continue to make an extra-concerted effort to make sure that EVERYTHING I do and say to him (and behind his back, for that matter) is out of the appreciation, admiration, love and respect that I have for him as my 'Husband'. 


Now for the third 'commandment' - brace yourselves!


To be submissive to your Husband
Eugh! Why does this word make me itch! Ephesians 5:22 states:
"Wives, submit to your Husbands as to the Lord". 
It is there in black and white, yet, I have tried to dress it up, dilute it, remix it and basically try any way of wriggling out of the FACT that I must submit to Mr O, just as I should submit to Jesus. If I submit to Jesus, how can I not submit to my Husband and if I submit to my Husband, how can I not submit to Jesus. 


Like I said before, this is a hard concept for me to grasp. But I feel that taking this conscious step to wholeheartedly submit to Mr O, will help me be more submissive to Jesus - which is totally something that I want to do - and soon! I guess I better read on, to unravel the 'myths' surrounding submission. I know what images my mind conjures up when I read the word 'submission', I just know deep down that I must be wrong...well, at least I hope so...


What do you think when you hear the word 'submission'? 


Mrs O


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Wives submit to your Husbands...

I could write an essay on the topic of us Wives submitting to our Husbands, as the Bible suggests we do in Ephesians.

Being submissive is actually something that had never crossed my mind before we got married. That isn't because I have disregarded the concept, I simply haven't given it any thought before. Until now. I figured I would do my research, I just can't help myself it seems. Obviously, the main thing from my perspective is that both myself and Mr O are happy with my degree of submissiveness and we both believe that the way I conduct myself with him is pleasing to the big G.

I am very much an independent, confident, free-thinking and ever-so-slightly random woman - apparently that's why he loves me *blush* I like to think I am God-fearing and I've noticed that focusing our marriage on what has worked for generations before us, has so far set us in good stead for handling the challenges that inevitably come with being married - in the real world - where everything doesn't smell of roses and where we run through the rain, rather than stand kissing in it as they do in the movies.

I have to be honest, sometimes the Bible doesn't always make sense to me, some things appear to contradict each other and I don't yet feel comfortable to approach my pastor or Church elder with every little query I have with it. Instead, I search online - I especially like Christian blogs such as boundless  and simple marriage. I also seek out books to help me understand things better. 

Most recently, I ordered Debbie Cherry's book - The Strong Willed Wife - Using your personality to honour God and your husband [good ol amazon!]. So far, it is making for a very interesting read. I'll keep you posted as I make my way through it...and as I decide what 'submitting' to Mr O means for our marriage...

But for now, I'm still pondering... Should us Wives submit to our Husbands? If you're not married, do you plan to submit to your future husband? 

Mrs O
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