Baby no2: 5 things I thought I'd do differently during pregnancy

I stumbled across this old blog post in my drafts where I wrote about things I wanted to do differently if I was blessed with carrying baby no2. Its funny that although I wrote this before conceiving again, much of it remained true...

1) I will add 2 weeks onto my actual due date. Last time, I was overdue by 8 days...8 looooong days! The loooooongest 8 days of my life!!! What made it worse was the well meaning but constant texts, calls, facebook wall posts, all asking 'is she here yet', 'when will I meet my niece?'
Kind of followed through on this- I just told people 'May' ; )


2) Not find out the sex. Last time we were less prepared for what happens when you have a baby, we wanted the heads up. We were very lucky to have been showered with gifts and Little Miss O had lots of clothes, toys, books, equipment before she arrived. It really was good for us to see all the girly stuff and prepare for our little girl. Next time though, we'd like to have a surprise. It is one of the few things in life that is truly a secret, that nobody can share (unless they are looking at an ultrasound picture with a magnifying glass!)...we want to experience the surprise too. If no2 is a girl, we'll be happy to have a little sister close in age (ish) for Little Miss O and if we had a boy, we'd be happy to have one of each! Either way, we feel we don't 'need' to know this time around...
Yey, we resisted the temptation and were happy with our decision to wait until the big day! 

3) Not bother eating pineapples... I did some research and I'd have to eat a ridiculous amount of pineapples to get enough of the labour inducing chemical into my body, by which point I figured I would be sick. Next time, I wont bother with all that inducing stuff... none of it worked, not curry (I'm used to spicy foods), not sex (no further comment necessary), not walking - unless you count the final day of walking round the shopping centre in labour! Instead, I will just plan activities for each day - regardless of my due date. I think this will be easy next time around as Little Miss O wont want to be stuck with me on the sofa feeling sorry for my over-pregnant self. Perhaps I'll tell her we have to do fun things to entice her brother or sister to come out and play!
Definitely did this! Went to a wedding, birthday dinner and photoshoot a few days before baby arrived and my proper labour started whilst sitting in a local park playing with Little Miss O! There was no 'feeling sorry for myself' this time! Yey!

4) Eat as though its going out of fashion. Last time, I had morning nausea. I was only ever sick a few times, but the nausea was horrible- feeling sick all day without the relief that comes after you've physically vomited! I could hardly eat and had to be force fed by Mr O. I went off all my favourite foods and was reduced to satsumas and apple juice. Seriously, my sister recalls me being rather tearful when someone in the house drank the last glass of my waitrose apple juice. I think on one day I ate 10 satsumas or so ..possibly more! Hormones I tell you! Anyway, next time, I really really REALLY want to be able to eat lots of food. Not least because on labour day itself, I only ate an apple and a handful of mini-oreo cookies...and then went on to deliver a whopper of a bouncing baby!
Definitely did this, though my cravings were very much healthy ones and I managed to squeeze in a blackcurrant tea whilst in the labour pool! Good times!

5) Enjoy the last few days/weeks/months of life as it is. When you're pregnant, other parents tell you to enjoy your sleep now, enjoy popping out to the shop now, enjoy life as it is NOW. They tell you that your life will never be the same again...and being pregnant of course you think you know what they're talking about. I thought 'of course I know - doh!' Well, I certainly had NO idea how much such a small person could change every single aspect of my life...practically, emotionally, everything has changed for me. I imagine that it will be the same with a second child. You think you know what it means...sure perhaps you'll need a double buggy instead of a single carriage one, you'll have twice as many nappies/food/daycare/mess to sort out...these things I think I know. Sure, I'll be excited about meeting baby no2 and praying for a safe delivery. but I'll also be enjoying our final days, just the 3 of us...me and Mr O and Little Miss O...
We really did enjoy our final days as a family of 3! 

Finding this post makes me feel like I knew myself and my heart; which makes me feel like a real grown up ; ) if 1 husband, 2 kids and 2 jobs doesn't do that- I'm not sure what will!

Things to consider BEFORE starting a family (Part 1 - Proximity to your beloved Family)

When a dear friend, Mrs J, asked:

'when you had your first child how did it affect you financially? Were you ready?' 

I sniggered to myself and thought ‘how long have you got?!’  

The way I see it, you will always figure out a way to house, feed and clothe your child, but that's just the bare bones of parenting. The issue of being 'ready' is so much bigger than money. Of course she knows this, but I just had to break it down for her..and where better than here...my little space on the web?

Whilst I don't believe that there is a ‘right’ time to start a family, I do think that when you become a parent you learn to take things in your stride. God wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way, I can say that I feel that we, as grown folk, have got to have some sort of plans in place. Sure, our 'plans' may not be transformed into reality (I can testify to that!), but 'plans' help to stabilise the journey, and make us feel less anxious about what is a major series of life and lifestyle changes - parenthood.

Goodness - that is one heck of an intro. I hope you're still with me Mrs J! 

Mr O and I discussed this post together and our first thing to consider is proximity to family and core support network.

Did you grow up close to your aunts, uncles, cousins? Would you want your child to have a similar or different experience of family life? How important do you think your extended family will be in your life once you have a baby(ies)? Are they accessible when you need them? If not, are you prepared for a simple night at the cinema to cost £40 upwards!?! 

[3hr babysitter (£15) + movie tickets (£15) + popcorn/other overpriced movie snacks (£10) = £40]

We're lucky that we have a few members of my extended family nearby but the majority of our family live hundreds of miles away and we really do notice the distance of our family life. Let's face it, there are just some things that you'd only trust/want/ask your sibling/parents/bestest friend to do...  Also, even though we're lucky to have a few members of 'my' family around, we don't have a lot of 'Mr O's' family around - and that is something to consider. There will be 4 parts to your family...do you want to be able to see them all?

I feel this especially important when you're in a mixed culture relationship - if you want your kids to experience all sides of their culture(s)/language(s) etc, they're gonna need to be hearing it on the regular.  Just something to think about - not anything to freak out about!

I'm hoping that our little run-through of 'things to consider' isn't looking too bleak.. but I just found myself on a roll... and these are just things that I wish someone had told me 3 -4 years ago/ thing I wish I had taken seriously...and clearly, this is something that Mr O and I talk about a lot. So, simply talking about this post and me writing about this topic is helping us to further realign our thoughts and set out our priorities... so thanks for reading!

Still to come...

- Work/life balance!

- The cost of being a Yummy-Mummy! 

- The commitment of being a SAHM?  

- Working Mum - doe it mean what you think it means? 

- The cost of daycare! 

- Ideal sibling age gaps?!!! 

In the meantime, how close (distance) are you to your family and support network? How does it affect you and your household?

Mrs O

x